Mommy Moments
Being There
By Krista Martinelli
I recently watched a Ted Talk video featuring a high-powered TV executive Shonda Rhimes, who decided to “Say yes” every time her three children asked her to play. Stopping everything you’re doing and playing puts you into another mindset – and isn’t always easy to do. It was an inspiring talk and while I cannot say I’ll do it “always,” I’ve been aiming for more often. (Check out the video).
Just this week, I was lucky to get to see one of my kids’ “firsts.” It was a Tuesday night and I was contemplating staying home and taking a relaxing bath. But it was my son’s first baseball game of the season and I decided to go. He hit his first home run, and I was so happy to get to see it. He was so happy, he was yelling to all of his friends, sharing his good news. I’m glad that I made the choice to go watch his game, putting off my bath for another night.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about being “fully present” and engaging in things. It’s something you cannot really do while looking at your cell phone. I recently heard from a friend’s teenage daughter. She was venting about the way her mother was texting the whole time, when attending her games. So yes, kids do notice if you have your nose in your cell phone throughout a whole game. Sadly, the girl said that this “didn’t count” when it comes to watching her games.
A great little book about being fully present is Tuesdays with Morrie. “’I believe in being fully present,’ Morrie said. ‘That means you should be with the person you’re with. When I’m talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us…” In many cases, you have to put something down (most often your cell phone) to be able to take in the moment and really live in the moment.
I’m not great at doing this, but I’m working on it. And the next time my kids ask me to join in whatever they’re playing, whether it’s basketball or making slime* or playing Monopoly, I’m going to say yes. Play time is something we all need, especially as adults.
*Yes, sometimes play is messy!