Lighten Up with Lisa
“Frazzled Mom” Q&A
By Lisa Dawn Wax
Dear Lightworker Lisa,
I’m a mom of two young kids, and I know it’s supposed to be possibly the happiest time of my life, but at the end of the day, I often feel completely frazzled. I sometimes wake up feeling like, “I don’t really want to be a Mom anymore.” I love my children, but I’m wondering…is this normal? And is there anything I can do to feel happier during these days?
Signed,
Frazzled
Dear “Frazzled”,
Firstly, let me assure you that unless you are a robot “YES!” this is normal. Taking care of small children who are completely reliant upon you is extremely demanding to the point of being draining. When you feel overwhelmed and your energy completely depleted it is perfectly natural to feel like throwing in the towel. Does this mean you don’t love your children? Absolutely NOT! Does this make you a bad mother? Absolutely NOT! What it makes you is HUMAN.
Moving along to question #2, once again a resounding YES! Indeed there are many things you can do to feel happier during these times. The first thing I want you to do is give yourself a break and be kinder to yourself. Let go of the guilt associated with those occasional, “I don’t want to be a mom anymore” feelings. Then after giving yourself a break, it is time to “take a break” so that you can recharge that depleted energy. Being a mom myself, I know it is easier said than done to not only find time for yourself, but also actually take time for yourself. However, it is imperative that you make yourself a priority and give to yourself so in turn you can have more to give to those you love. In order to feel happier you must do things that make you happy, so that you can actually transcend the daily stresses of motherhood rather than just coping with them. So take some much deserved mommy time, even if it is only 15 or 20 minutes to meditate, enjoy a cup of coffee in solitude, read a chapter of a book, jump on the treadmill (great for releasing endorphins) or any other mini-break that appeals to you. These mini-breaks can be and should be done daily. In addition try to schedule mommy breaks such as a girls’ night out or a couple of afternoon hours away to “do lunch”, a movie, or get a massage or reiki treatment. Solicit friends and family to watch the kids and don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Support networks are crucial to any parent’s survival.
Another way of looking at achieving happiness and renewed energy is understanding the important concept of Self-Actualization. Self-Actualization is a term mostly associated with the humanistic psychological approach to motivation made popular in the 1950’s by Dr. Abraham Maslow and is defined as the full realization of one’s potential or the desire for self-fulfillment. Maslow based his theory upon an Hierarchy of Needs with Self-Actualization being at the top of the pyramid that can only be reached once the lower order necessities have been satisfied. (Clink link to see chart)
At the very base of the pyramid are the basic Physiological Needs of air, food, water, sleep, etc. The second level lists the Safety Needs, feeling a sense of security regarding physical comforts and shelter including employment, health, home and insurance. The third level is Love and Belonging, where people strive for social acceptance and a sense of belongingness via friendships, intimacy, family and connections. On the next level are the Esteem Needs, including self-esteem and esteem from others, where the individual seeks out a sense of competence, achievement, recognition and respect. Once a person has moved through these lower levels and surpassed the feelings and beliefs that they are deficient in these areas, they are ready to grow into who they truly are and find the happiness that is rightfully theirs. Some rewards of Self Actualization are Vitality, Creativity, Self-Sufficiency, Playfulness, Meaningfulness, Purpose and Acceptance. So, as you review your individual place on the pyramid, be grateful for the needs already fulfilled and then focus on fulfilling the remaining needs. Gratitude is essential at every level. Never forget to give thanks for the blessings you undoubtedly have. Always look at the big picture and keep your hopes high. In closing I leave you with lyrics from this 1959 Oscar winning and timeless children’s song.
“Just what makes that little old ant, think he can move that rubber tree plant, anyone knows an ant can’t move a rubber tree plant. But, he’s got high hopes, he’s got high hopes, he’s got high apple pie in the sky hopes. So any time you’re getting low ‘stead of letting go, just remember that ant. Whoops there goes another rubber tree plant!”
(Link to Frank Sinatra version)
Let me know how it goes.
Lightworker Lisa
Until next time, may your days be brighter and your lives be lighter.
Let me ignite the light in your life!
If you would like to submit a question for publication, you can email me directly at [email protected].
A Lightworker is someone with an innate ability to know and heal. Lightworkers believe it is their divine mission or higher purpose to write, teach or counsel others that spiritual methods can heal any situation. Lightworkers are souls who volunteered, before birth, to help people learn about love and heal from the effects of fear. Lisa Dawn Wax, aka Lightworker Lisa is a born Lightworker, certified Angel Healing Practitioner and Reiki Master Practitioner; all of which basically confirm her intuitive abilities to help, heal and teach. Using reiki (energy healing), divine messages and intuitive readings, she has helped many people to identify the source of their pain, clarify current life situations, and successfully redirect their focus into positive channels. If you are in need of affordable healing and life coaching with immediate results, call her at 561-594-3948 or visit her new website www.lightworkerlisa.com.