Mommy Moments
Creating a Reward System for Your Kids
Recently a friend of mine turned me onto a spreadsheet reward system that she is using with her two children. She has already found the results to be very good – with her older daughter happy to do things like laundry and her seven-year-old son doing basic chores without putting up a fight. She shared some excellent materials with me, so I could set up a point system in my household. And I’d like to share these with you. I haven’t done it yet – thanks to end-of-the-year craziness, including a big dance recital and a lot of things going on at once. But I look forward to putting a reward point system into place this summer. I have to say that my children are definitely ready to do chores. My eight-year-old daughter even wrote down a list of chores that she would like to do! So I expect good things to come from this! See below and then read on by clicking on the link at the end.
POINT SYSTEMS
Point systems are excellent ways to: 1.) organize jobs around the house, 2.) reduce arguing overwho is supposed to do what, and 3.) increase cooperation. You can use Point Systems to improve the way people treat each other. Children get excited about them and will work harder than we though possible to earn points.
The reason kids like Point Systems is that they get regular attention from you for improving. They also get extra privileges and things they want. They develop a sense of pride too, because parents are not scolding or shouting nearly so often. They feel more respected.
Advantages:
• Children are very motivated to do jobs.
• It’s an orderly way to keep track of jobs.
• Children develop a sense of responsibility and develop more mature behavior.
• You become more positive towards your children.
• It’s a simple system for those under10 years old and preteens (see Contracting for older children).
HOW TO SET UP A POINT SYSTEM:
1. Make a list of your childrens’ behavior that you want more of (obeying, not talking back, remembering jobs, homework, getting along with brothers and sisters, and so on). Discuss these with them.
2. Write down a list of rewards or incentives your children will want. Discuss these with them.
Use family time spent together doing fun things as a reward as often as you can.
3. Assign points for each behavior on the behavior list. The harder it is for your children to do a certain behavior, the more points you should give for it.
4. Assign a certain number of points for each reward on your reward list.
5. Make a chart with the days of the week listed across the top, the behavior to be improved listed down the left side, and the points needed to earn each reward listed on the bottom.
6. Put the chart someplace (like the refrigerator) where everyone can see it.
7. Announce that the system has started, and keep careful track of the behaviors on the chart and the points earned.
8. Arrange certain times when points can be traded in for rewards.
9. Every week or two, review the chart with your children and make changes.
Thanks to ParentingWisely.com for this good advice!
Krista Martinelli is the mother of two children and the editor of AroundWellington.com. She enjoys tennis, activities with her kids and helping to give away free frozen yogurt.