Things My Son Says

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Mommy Moments

May, 2016

Funny Things My Son says

Being the mother of two bright children has its challenges – and its laughs.  A few years ago I started sharing (on Facebook) funny things that my son Paul says.  This brought in a lot of positive feedback and a lot of, “You should write these down and keep them” and “You should make a top ten list.”  So here we go.  But in no particular order, because I really cannot decide what things are funniest (to me), here are ten “Paul-isms” to share with you.  He just turned nine years old, so many of these “nuggets of wisdom” were uttered when he was younger.

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  1. “Mom, you really don’t understand fun!  I’ll give you fun lessons tomorrow.” (2014)
  2. “The problem with farting is you can’t get away from yourself.” (2014)
  3. Paul was filling out an “All About Me” questionnaire when he was the Star of the Week in First Grade.  For about 3 years now, he has been saying he wants to be an engineer when he grows up.  But when he got to that question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” – he wrote “A Milkman.”  When Joe asked him why (considering a milkman is getting to be an antiquated profession), he admitted that he wanted to write “engineer” but just didn’t know how to spell it! (2013)
  4. Paul called his buddy Jason to wish him a happy birthday.  On the phone, he said, “How old are you?”  Jason, who was 4, said “I’m fourteen.”  Paul, who was also 4, said, “No you’re not.  I think you hit yourself in the head with two coconuts.”  That was followed by a lot of laughing on Jason’s side of the phone.  (2011)
  5. Yesterday Paul asked me, “How old do I have to be before I can start swearing?” I said, “Sixteen.” He says, “When I wake up on my 16th birthday, I’m going to say, “What the F? It’s my birthday!” (2015)
  6. A letter to Santa, placed by the milk and cookies. “Dear Saint Nick,  Drink all the milk.  We don’t want it to smell.” – Paul (2015)
  7. Yesterday as we were getting out of the car to go to music lessons, Paul says, “I really have to go #1. No, actually I really have to go #2! Actually, I’m just going to lay down a #3.” And then he ran to the bathroom. Creative. (2015)
  8. My daughter Stella and I were teasing Paul about a girl he might like. “No, no, no – I hate her,” he says. “Don’t you know I’m trying to sabotage her friendship with Stella…by always answering the door in my underwear?” (2015)
  9. “What’s that name for a lady penis again? Kaliva?” (2015)
  10. And Paul’s New Year’s Resolution, which he wrote on his name tag last night, was that in the New Year, he will “turn nuclear waste into a children’s toy.” (2015)

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Here’s Paul explaining the 3 most important things he learned in 1st grade.  Or click on

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Krista Martinelli is the owner and publisher of AroundWellington.com, which has been around for over 10 years.  She (not very well) juggles motherhood with running this online magazine business.  She is the mother of two kids.  She has been published in the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series, as well as other publications.