Mommy Moments
Tips of the Trade
By Melanie Lewis
Who knew parenting was a minefield of madness. And so, therefore I’m always intrigued when a new idea of parenting presents itself. In fact, I’m not the only parent. In a recent online survey from Dana Wilde, this is a sampling of parenting issues:
- How to parent without using guilt or shame.
- Getting my kids to listen.
- Minimizing their time on technology.
- Having better connections with grown children.
- Keeping my cool. I don’t want to be a yelling parent.
- Everything involved with teenagers.
- Getting them to stop saying, “I can’t.”
- Messy rooms, poor hygiene, etc.
- How to not screw them up!
- Name calling in the house.
- Dealing with all of the different personalities.
- Keeping them away from the influence of societal problems.
- Guiding them without being overbearing.
- Getting them to be responsible.
- Loving them without enabling them.
- How to get them interested in school.
Do you see yourself on this list? I did. So, you can see why when I saw the headline in a recent Facebook post from Upworthy, “One little change in how you talk to your kids can help them be more successful.” I was intrigued.
From Upworthy, “Dr. Carol Dweck, a researcher who is pioneering a shift in how we view motivation in humans, is one of the few evangelizing about how to instill a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset. The quickest way to explain what it means to instill a growth mindset is: Praise your child explicitly for how capable they are of learning rather than telling them how smart they are.” So when your child does something praiseworthy, instead of saying good job. Say, “look how you’ve learnt how to play a song or read a book and understand the words.” It makes a lot of sense.
It’s really important, because I recently asked my son if he had a New Year’s Resolution, He said his resolution is to worry less. What does a 12-year-old worry about? I thought he had a carefree existence. He does well in school enjoys his music and friends. So now parents, shift your thinking from your own agendas to understanding what the kids are thinking about. For my son, he was worried about getting enough sleep and playing on the ‘A’ team for soccer. Whatever the worry, I told him, utilizing the new method, he could do anything by practicing his soccer and he knew he could sleep better by following good habits of eating, consistently eating at regular interval throughout the day, instead of snacking to set your body’s internal clock for sleep, and not eating sugary snacks at night. It seemed to be helpful. Gosh, the learning for parents goes on and on! If we can take away their worries now, it’s a great help for later on too.