November, 2011 – My Serenity Checklist

As I Was Saying

My Serenity Checklist

By Alan Williamson

As we make our way through life’s journey, everyone has their way of handling stress. Exercise. Meditation. Playing board games with an imaginary friend. I personally like to lie up to my neck in a tub of coleslaw and listen to my Bird Calls of the Cajun Bayou CD. But hey, that’s me.

Stress is one aspect of modern life that never seems to dwindle. On the contrary, at last count we had a 17-year surplus of it and are pumping out more fresh batches daily.    For me, it starts early in the morning when I check my email. I log on with visions of greetings from long lost pals or perhaps a message from a rich relative ready to turn over the $200,000 he’s been holding for me.

Instead, I find offers to lower my car insurance, improve my memory, grow thicker, more luxurious hair, and make big money in my spare time as a traveling nurse. The traveling nurse offer sounded intriguing, but I hate the sight of blood. Especially when it’s coming from my wallet.

While technology was suppose to make our lives simpler, it’s only speeded up the rate of harassment. Take car repair. I use to own a sports car that every once in a blue moon would cut out on me without warning during highway driving.

One minute I’d be sailing down I-95 singing along with the radio, the next I’d be shrieking whoawhoawhoawhoa and trying to get a stalled-out, rapidly-decelerating car over to the shoulder. Each time I took it to the shop, they found nothing.

“It’s probably a glitch in one of those computer chips all the new cars have,” the mechanic would speculate. “But unless it’s doing it when you bring it in, it’s impossible to trace.”

“It only happens at high speeds,” I complained. “It’s hard to get it to you while I’m busy stunt driving out on the interstate and trying to keep my life from becoming a sad headline.” (“Man Loses Control of Car, Leaves Behind Questions.”)

“Sorry dude,” the mechanic shrugged. “Those computer chips are a bear.”

While technology keeps turning up the tempo on all-out aggravation, the leading cause of stress is still other people. Some that stirred up my insides recently include:

• The woman who hopped on her cell phone in a store aisle to blurt out “What’s up? Nothing much. I’m in Walgreen’s buying Q-Tips.”
• The guy across from our house who has nothing better to do than sit on a lawn chair in his garage every day staring out at the street. (I can’t prove it, but I think he’s causing property values to fall.)
• The teen who thinks his taste in music is so impeccable that he shares it with everyone within a 50-yard radius by cranking his car stereo up to a level that causes the enamel to fall off your teeth.

I could go on and on, but you get my point. Since annoying, stress-inducing people are everywhere, avoiding them isn’t the solution. The real secret to achieving serenity is to cultivate a state of mind that prevents bothersome people or situations from rattling your nerves.  It all comes down to learning what’s in our power to control and what is not. Here’s a handy serenity checklist I’ve devised to sidestep confusion:

Things Under Our Control: Ourselves.

Things Not In Our Control: 1.) The world 2.) All the people in it.

There. I hope this enlightened philosophy helps you adapt to stress more efficiently and find lasting happiness and peace-of-mind in turbulent times.