Finding Balance in a Demanding World
By Claudine Motto
Finding balance is difficult when the demands on our time never stop. We need to give our attention to our businesses or careers, to our relationships and loved ones, and somewhere in between, to ourselves.
When we lack the proper attention in any one of those areas, we feel like something’s missing, like we’re spinning our wheels. But “proper” attention means something different to each individual – here are 7 steps to help you define what true balance means for you, and how to work towards it:
1. Define the areas in your life that feel out of balance
Brainstorm all the “should’s” that have been swimming around in your head. Don’t censor yourself – write down everything you feel you’ve been neglecting. And be honest – if you don’t want to write something down it’s a good sign you need to deal with it sooner rather than later.
2. Scrutinize the list for things you don’t really want to be doing
Put a star next to any items you don’t really want to do, but feel like you should do out of guilt, or pressure. What do you need to do to get that item off your list?
If you’re saying “yes” to avoid what you find uncomfortable, like delegating, asking for help (or just saying “no”) put your energy into learning how to do those things – these are skills that will help you honor your wants and needs long-term.
3. Scrutinize the list for your real wants
Now take a look at the things you’ve been neglecting that you do want to do, and group them together under broader categories. For example, getting your tax receipts system in order and looking into life insurance could go under “Finances,” losing 20 pounds and making an appointment to have a dental checkup could go under “Health.” And starting a social media campaign and doing more speaking engagements could go under “Work.”
Aim for as few categories as possible that represent a balanced life to you – fewer categories will be easier to manage and to work into your life.
4. Define just one change
Take only your top 3-5 categories to work on – the reality is that you won’t have time to do everything you want to do, so it is key to prioritize, be realistic, and forgive yourself for not being Superman or Superwoman.
Then, define ONE major change you can make in each of those areas that would get you closer to what you would like. And make sure to make the changes/goals measurable – so avoid words like “more” or “less” – define how much more, how much less, and how often.
If the change is difficult, or overwhelming, then get help – whatever it takes to move FORWARD.
6. You need more than time to make changes
In the book “The Power of Full Engagement” (by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz) the authors’ core message is that you need to balance work and stress with recovery – the harder the work and the stress, the harder your body and mind need to recover to renew the energy. And it makes sense – energy is power – it affects everything.
So the next time you find yourself thinking that you need to push through a few more hours, push yourself to stop, and renew. And take care of your energy with proper nutrition and sleep.
7. Avoid all or nothing thinking
This type of thinking is rooted in perfectionism – if you can’t work out for a full hour, or 4 times a week, you don’t work out at all. Or if you can’t organize your whole office or closet in one day, you don’t start at all.
Start doing less and work on being OK with that – go to the gym for an intense 10 minutes if that’s all you can really fit in that week; organize just your supplies, or your jeans.
That doesn’t mean you don’t consistently strive to meet the goals you set, but be kind with yourself when you don’t.
Balancing all the demands of life is an imperfect process that takes work and never truly “ends.” But when you define balance by your rules, you set the stage for true productivity and fulfillment.
© 2009 Claudine Motto
Productivity Coach and Professional Organizer Claudine Motto helps home office geniuses, entrepreneurs, and independent professionals get organized so they can reach their goals with less struggle and less stress. She offers one-on-one coaching and group training programs – please visit http://www.vistalnorte.com or call 561-641-9500 for more information, to sign up for her monthly newsletter, or to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation.