Mommy Moments
Rock Bottom Bedrock
By Ilyse August
Many people ask me, “How is your son?” For those of you who don’t know my story, or my SON’S STORY, this will be my part II continuation of a teenage boy’s fall from glory to rock bottom…and at the bottom is where he found that our bedrock is in fact God. (See Part 1 of the story).
Whether or not you believe in God; whether or not you are passionately religious or call yourself “spiritual”, I feel this story of a young man may touch you. If I can help even one person with his story, then this time taken to write, reflect & share will be completely worth it.
My son became a Bar Mitzvah in June of 2009. He continued to chant Torah well after his special day. But he was dealing with “legal drug use–psychotropic medications prescribed by a reputable psychiatrist for intense anxiety disorder and “ADHD/Impulsivity” mental health challenges. These prescribed meds led to an interest and need to self-medicate to “treat” the very real side effects of the meds. (We tried a multitude of combinations and a variety of different types of meds, to eliminate the side effects, all to no avail.)
Ultimately this is an all too common path for many who are in our family’s situation. We watched, feeling helpless, as our son spiraled downward. His promising hockey career careened to a screeching halt. At 16 years of age, my son had been one of the two youngest draft picks (USA & CANADIAN draft) in the NAHL. He had been selected to play for the SOO EAGLES in MI. Sadly, it was not to be. His detour off his NAHL career path was only the beginning of the story yet to be written. Putting aside all the sacrifice we as a family put forth over the years leading to his amazing draft success, hitting rock bottom for my son is what may perhaps set the stage for the rest of his entire life should he be open for all the messages being bestowed upon him.
There began a three-year descent—and jail was inevitable. Luckily, jail also became the catalyst for his change.
Hitting rock bottom is not easy, and although many of us think that drug addiction and substance abuse only effects people from lower socio-economic status, or those who come from broken families or families rippled with hereditary challenges within this realm, drug addiction/substance abuse is more common across the board than we care to acknowledge. The pretty young lady sitting next to you in church, temple or wherever you choose to pray, or the athlete sitting next to you in a movie theatre, or the business man standing next to you in line at the food store, or wherever—may be in the throughs of addiction.
“So how is your son?” This is a question that I don’t know how best to answer. He is building his self worth back up. He is growing from the narrow depths of despair that could have easily taken his life several times over. He recognizes his need to comprehend that his hockey career does NOT define who he is and his definition of success needs to be redefined. How do we all define success? Usually it’s around financial achievement and/or goals we set to accomplish whether they be career and/or leadership attainment. Life happens and in this school of thought there is rarely the observation that often times we need to reflect more on the word success and what it truly can mean for some.
I see life being all about relationships: Being vulnerable and being comfortable enough in our own skins to remaining open for others to truly ‘see’ who we are. Being open to and for others allows us to share in others lives, and to invest in others when they may need us. So in looking at my own son and being asked how he is…I feel like it is important for all of us to redefine success & what it really means in our lives. To succeed beyond addiction, success has to be more than just what we accomplish. Truly I feel success needs to be more about the relationships we build with others.
You see, relationships are what can carry us through often trying times in our lives. If one person falls, the other can pick the person up. As I have been learning myself from a community & spiritual leader in Pastor Craig Groeschel,
“Everyone needs someone to do life with;
Everyone needs someone to invest in;
Everyone needs someone to stay for.”
Through my son’s extraordinarily difficult and trying time in his life and in our family’s lives, I have come to realize that my son is doing okay because he is willing to recognize his need to grow and believe in something greater than himself. How we found a spiritual mentor and home is a phenomenal story all on its own, but all the ‘little things’ leading up to where our son is at spiritually right now has been an incredible journey for us all and mostly for our son
I do feel God works in amazing and mysterious, and in ridiculously unbelievable ways.
So…”How is your son?”
My son is good. He has a lot to learn, but if he’s willing to receive this education, he will impact lives in a way that he could have never imagined possible before his downward spiral. God is good and God chooses certain people to hit that rock bottom so that the best rock can be found.
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To reach Ilyse August, you can call her at (561) 503-3691 or email her at [email protected]. For more information on Superfoods, specifically Earth’s first foods – Blue green algae and tonic mushrooms, please contact Ilyse.