AS I WAS SAYING

by Alan Williamson

Walk This Way

What would you say if I told you that by walking just 30 minutes a day, four times a week, you could enjoy increased energy, a trimmer body, a greater sense of calm and well-being, and a deeper, more restful night’s sleep.

          Not good enough?

What if I told you that a brisk 30-minute walk, just four times a week, could also lower your blood pressure and cholesterol, raise your IQ, allow you to speak a second language fluently within one week, and land a seven-figure recording contract with a major label even if you’ve had no previous singing experience.

Still not convinced?

 What if I told you that if you start walking now – this week – and continue walking just 30 minutes a day, four times a week, that in three months you will have reduced your risk of heart disease by 34 percent, added 2.4 years to your life, mastered the fine art of search engine optimization, and developed the inexplicable ability to communicate with domestic animals in a way that fosters caring, empowering, mutually-rewarding relationships.

While I can’t guarantee that all of these benefits will come your way (individual results may vary), I’m here to add my voice to the long chorus line of medical and fitness advisors who say, and I quote, “If you want to look better, feel better and live better, put down that pizza-encrusted, digitally-enabled, virtual reality video gamepad and go for a walk!”

But where, when, with who and at what pace, you ask.

These are mostly matters of personal preference. For me, for instance, the answers would be “in Birch State Park,” “at 7 a.m.,” “with my Indian sidekick Buddy Blackfoot,” and “enough to make me breathe harder.” For someone else, the answers could be completely different, perhaps more along the lines of “Heatherwood Drive,” “after dinner,” “with my dog Rooney,” and “like a small town mayor marching in the Memorial Day parade.”

Whatever specific details suit your tastes and circumstances, the good news is, once you start, walking is an activity that comes pretty naturally and requires very little instruction. This is why Walking Magazine, which ceased publication in 2001, couldn’t go the distance in spite of informative and motivational articles such as:

“Tying your Laces: The Trick to Injury-Free Walking”

“Trees, Shrubs and Flowers: What to Look at While You Walk”

“Pick a Spot to Turn Around: The Secret to Planning a Long Walk” 

“Strut, Stroll, Saunter or Mince: Develop Your Walking Style

and Never Look Back”

Even though the instinctive nature of walking makes “coaching” the activity virtually unnecessary, I have identified three rules of walking for health and fitness that I strongly recommend. They are:

1.      Never walk on the side of a busy road heading in the same direction as traffic. As a matter of self-preservation, you’re safer walking against the flow of traffic so you can see and react to drivers who may in fact be engaged in other activities inside their cars. These activities may include putting on a fresh change of clothes, watching a recent episode of Celebrity Apprentice on their cell phone, or making arrangements to take a donkey tour of the Grand Canyon (right after they head-butt you into a roadside ditch with the front bumper of their SUV).

2.       If your walk takes you into wooded areas or any other uneven terrain, take extra care to notice things in your path that might cause you to trip and fall. These obstructions may include such stumbling blocks as rocks, ruts, tree roots, discarded trash, or, on rare occasions, the slumbering, foul-smelling carcass of rocker/outdoorsman Ted Nugent.

3.      Never, I repeat, never get talked into walking the Ross Prairie        State Forest in Dunnello, Florida with my wife’s cousin Nancy’s husband Georg. Now don’t get me wrong. Georg is a great, down-to-earth guy, with no obnoxious habits. The problem is, Georg isn’t human. He’s a relentless walking machine built by the Germans to cover vast distances on foot in all kinds of terrain without a break. After walking for five miles through a heavily-wooded state forest, Georg will look back over his shoulder at you and say, “Let’s go once more around.” Since your answer will most likely be a winded, unintelligible whimper that sounds like “yeesh,” Georg will take that as a “yes” and off you’ll go back into the wild green yonder.    

But these are trivial concerns. Walking is, on most days, a refreshingly safe, uncomplicated endeavor. So follow my simple rules, don’t overthink it, and enjoy the smooth and gentle route to robust health and fitness.

Oh, before you lace up, I do have just one little disclaimer. While moderately swinging your arms while you walk can provide additional upper body toning benefits, the exaggerated, cartoonish style of arm swinging employed by some overzealous racewalkers is discouraged. For one thing, the extra toning and calorie-burning benefits of such a technique are minor and, more importantly, the odds of you earning a reputation as a “walking whack-job” increase astronomically.

Okay, now you know everything I know, so let’s give this a try.

Ready, set, walk! One foot in front of the other, that’s it, that’s it, watch the arms, watch the arms, no crazy stuff, there you go, breathe deeply, that’s it, watch the crack in the sidewalk, nice move, you’re doing great. We’re just taking a walk here, nothing fancy, easy come, easy go. Whadaya say champ, once more around?