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March, 2010 – The Green Gala

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Pine Jog/ FAU will be joining the Palms West chamber and becoming your newest member. As we are moving through this process we wanted to introduce ourselves to your area and invite you to our annual fundraiser, the Green Gala. Pine Jog is one of the oldest environmental education centers in the United States and we are celebrating our 50th year anniversary in 2010. Pine Jog serves over 40,000 individuals yearly and 60% of them are from culturally diverse and underserved populations. 

 

This year we will host the Green Gala, on March 20, 2010 at 6:30 p.m.  The focus of this year’s event will be on our 50th anniversary and will be held in our new LEED Gold Certified facility.  This event includes dinner and dancing under the stars, and a silent and live auction. We are very lucky and excited that Bob Nichols will be our auctioneer this year. Pine Jog will also be announcing its first annual Environmental Leadership awards the night of the gala. Recipients include:  

·        Green Organization of the Year- Audubon Society of Florida

·        Green Business/Nonprofit of the Year- Community Foundation of Palm Beach and Martin Counties.

·        Green Educator of the Year- Fred Barch

·        Green Visionary- Commissioner, Jeff Koons

·        Life time Achievement Award- Mrs. Frances Hufty

 

If you or your company are interested in purchasing a ticket to the event, donating something to our auctions and/or interested in sponsorship opportunities, please review the enclosed information and opportunities.  Your sponsorship/donation will provide invaluable direct exposure to local leaders, business owners and community members while demonstrating your commitment to the environment.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate contacting us at 561-686-6600 or visiting our website at www.pinejog.fau.edu.  This is such an exciting time at Pine Jog and we look forward to seeing you as we celebrate our golden anniversary.

 

Kristi Martin Moyer  B.A., M. Ed.

Facilities and Land Manager

Pine Jog Environmental Education Center

Florida Atlantic University

West Palm Beach, FL. 33415

cell: 561-236-1594

office: 561-686-6600

fax:561-687-4968

March, 2010 – AW in Pictures

Just a few highlights of happenings Around Wellington. For many more photos, visit the link “Photo Galleries” on this site!

Rehearsal at That's Dancing in Lake Worth, FL
Rehearsal at That's Dancing in Lake Worth, FL
"Dancer." Photograph by Wellington photographer Allison Parssi.
"Dancer." Photograph by Wellington photographer Allison Parssi.
Poets Kevin Young and Thomas Lux autographing books at the Palm Beach Poetry Festival. Photo: Marla E. Schwartz.
Poets Kevin Young and Thomas Lux autographing books at the Palm Beach Poetry Festival. Photo: Marla E. Schwartz.
Jessica Wittenbrink is crowned the new Miss Palm Beach County.
Jessica Wittenbrink is crowned the new Miss Palm Beach County.

February, 2010 – Cardinal Newman School PALS Club and Jazz Ensemble

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Cardinal Newman High School

512 Spencer Drive

West Palm Beach, FL 33409

561-471-0241

 

Press Release                                                                         

March 1, 2010

For Immediate Release                                                          

For More Information

                                                                                               

Contact Mary Martens

                                                                                               

at 561-644-5489

Cardinal Newman High School PALS Club and Jazz Ensemble entertains at Lourdes Noreen McKeen Towers

On Thursday, February 25 Cardinal Newman’s PALS, Pure Abiding Love Saves, sponsored a dance at the Noreen McKeen Residence for the elderly in West Palm Beach. The coordinator of this second annual event, and PALS moderator, is Mr. James Seelinger. The dance was open to all Newman students and many attended bringing baked goods and their dance skills. The school band played the entire time, in two separate rooms of the center. The residents had a great time and also enjoyed the very entertaining ballroom dancing of Christina Randazzo, class of 2011, and her partner Andres Florez of Fred Astaire Dance, West Palm Beach. The students and faculty that attended conversed, served, and danced all afternoon with the seniors and look forward to doing so again next year. This was a wonderful event for all in attendance and it was difficult to determine who had more fun, the students or the residents.

Cardinal Newman High School Band Director David Skinner and CN Jazz Ensemble.
Cardinal Newman High School Band Director David Skinner and CN Jazz Ensemble.

 

March, 2010 – Making a Difference

Letter from the Editor 

 

March, 2010Stella and Krista Martinelli                                                                                            

 

Dear Around Wellington Readers,

 

Happy March and Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

 

We’ve had a theme of “Making a Difference” for the month of March for the past three years of the print magazine Around Wellington®, so it seems fitting to keep it going with . In our AW Stories of the Month (also under “Mommy Moments”), we feature four local moms who find a way to balance their work, volunteer work and responsibilities as mothers. You’ll meet Andrea McKenney, Amy Roberts, Lois Spatz and Lisa Dawn Wax and see how they’re making a difference in our community. I was inspired by each one of them, as they show us how they make it work, sometimes struggling and sometimes making it look easy.

 

Also in our AW Stories of the Month, writer Marla E. Schwartz introduces us to Isabella .” Yes, the beautiful Rossellini dares to venture into the mating habits of bugs, marine animals and other animals, while sharing her passion for environmental conservation at the same time. Also see one of the videos to get a glimpse of Rossellini in one of her anatomically correct costumes.

 

Marla Schwartz also gives us an exclusive interview with the husband and wife team of Michael Tucker and Jill Eikenberry (of L.A. Law fame). They talk about their new book FAMILY MEALS: Coming Together to Care for an Aging Parent.” Tucker was the author and Eikenberry was the editor.

 

Get ready ahead of time for Earth Day with “Living Green!” Christine Powell Smith brings us “Five Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.”

 

Don’t miss our story, which focuses on “That’s Dancing” this month! At “That’s Dancing,” a Lake Worth dance studio founded by two, hard-working sisters, they teach ages 3 though adult in Ballet, Pointe, Modern, Lyrical / Contemporary, Tap, Jazz, and Hip Hop. It’s a great place to learn, whether you’re just starting or very advanced in your practice of dance. Also see the and photos that we’ve posted of their rehearsals for a glimpse of what goes on inside the studio.

 

Our terrific continue! Thanks again to Sanda Gané European Day Spa in Wellington for providing our most recent prize, a facial and microdermabrasian! Don’t forget to enter to win our beginning-of-the-month contest, a relaxing one-hour massage at Massage Envy. So please enter between March 1st – 10th. The winner will be announced on our website on March 11th. And here’s another great contest coming in the middle of the month!  You could win an Oral-B Triumph Professional Care 9100 toothbrush, valued at $130! THANKS to Dr. Haik, the Kids Teeth Doctor, for providing this prize. Details to follow.  Don’t forget to check out our ! THANKS to our advertisers for making these contests possible! And welcome to our new advertiser this month, (located in the Mall at Wellington Green)!  By the way it’s our sexiest ad so far…check it out! (www.aroundwellington.com).

 

On the lighter side this month, you will love Alan Williamson’s “,” an investigative look into his own, ridiculously-large collection of drinking glasses. You will also laugh out loud (as I did) at Wendell Abern’s “Laments of a Senior Stud Wannabe.” OK, so Internet dating is not for everyone, especially those with critical kids.

 

Our “” column this month focuses on the Palm Beach Poetry Festival, including an interview with Miles Coon, the founder of the festival. Also see photos from the festival under our “Photo Galleries.” One of the festival’s participants David Plumb provides a wonderful poem this month (see “”). Plumb is the author of a recent book, “Poetry on Strings.”

 

Feeling a little down and gray from the unusually cold winter we’ve had? Get inspired with “Lighten Up with Lisa.” This month she writes “With the Sun Comes a Time for Congratulations, not Condolences.” It’s a motivational piece about the beauty of spring and a non-denominational treatment of the symbols in Easter and Passover. Thanks for the spring cheer, Lisa!

 

If you’d like a little more pet knowledge, read Frances Goodman’s helpful “” this month. She answers a reader’s question about some questionable black spots on the dog’s tongue.

 

As usual, there’s something for everyone!  This is just a taste of what our March issue brings. Here’s our March table of contents. Feel free to explore.    

 

As I Was Saying

AW Spotlight

Birthdays

Cantankerously Yours

Cultural Corner

Lighten Up with Lisa

Mommy Moments

Photo Galleries

Press Releases

Teen Talk

Ultimate Productivity

 

THANKS so much to our readers and our advertisers!  We appreciate you!!

 

Also, we wish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  You’ll find a nice recipe for in our AW Stories of the Month, in case it comes in handy.

 

Cheers,

 

Krista Martinelli

Editor

AroundWellington.com

March, 2010 – Local Moms Juggling Work, Volunteering and Motherhood

Mommy Moments

 

How a Few Local Moms Juggle Work, Volunteering and Motherhood

 

Story compiled by Krista Martinelli

 

Have you ever wondered how some mothers manage to juggle so many responsibilities at once?  A few of our readers suggested this type of story, so this month we’ve put together a few interviews. We can have a little insight into just “how they do it.” It’s truly a balancing act, especially if you have your own business and have young children. Thanks to Andrea McKenney, Amy Roberts, Lois Spatz and Lisa Dawn Wax for answering our questions. In keeping with our theme as it’s been for the past three years in Around Wellington® (now AroundWellington.com), we get the chance to see how these women are “Making a Difference!”)

 

 

Andrea McKenneyAndrea McKenney and family

 

AW: What’s the most challenging thing about being a mother and balancing work with it?

 

The challenge is always fighting my own expectations of what can get done. I take my younger daughter Hannah with me to work, so sometimes I feel like I’m not being the greatest mother or the greatest employee. However, I feel blessed to always be able to work while being with my girls. I’ve had some funny challenges in balancing everything. I do the accounting for my church, and I worked out a way to keep breastfeeding while getting the accounting done, for example.

 

AW: What do you do for work?

 

My title is Administrative Assistant at the Community Christian Church. I do the calendar, special event planning, the newsletter, the weekly bulletin, meetings, press releases, coordinating volunteers, running a coffee house, prayer nights, worship nights and accounting. I like to say that I’m both a “secretary and a firefighter.” Each week I do approximately fifteen hours at the office and five hours at home.

 

Also I’ve started doing my own business, Premier Jewelry, as of December of 2009. It’s a great company, allowing me a lot of independence. I try to do a home show about once a week, and it takes about six hours per show, including prep time, show time and filling out orders. I also attend two hours of training per month for Premier Designs High Fashion Jewelry. It’s a great additional way to make money and have fun! If anyone is interested, the advertisement (and sometimes a coupon) can be found on this website, aroundwellington.com. Also see my contact info at the end of this interview.

 

AW: How old are your kids?  At what point do things get easier?

 

We have Shauna (5) who will be 6 in April, and Hannah (3.5). Also my younger brother Joel (16) moved in with us. He attends John I. Leonard High School. It’s an unusual situation, providing parenting for two young girls, as well as my teenage brother. When Hannah starts going to preschool in the fall, I believe I will have a little more free time.

 

AW: What volunteer work do you do?

 

I lead worship for our church. I’m also the co-coordinator for our Wednesday night “Living Inside Out” series. It’s for children who are 12 and under. It’s a high-energy program featuring different Bible stories. We act out the stories and use drama, crafts, games and a story station to drive the point home. It runs every Wednesday evening from 7pm to 8pm. In the summer, we meet every other week on Wednesdays, from 7pm to 8pm. Every other week on Wednesdays, we do a 9am to 5pm event trip with approximately 30 to 40 kids. We take our field trips to places like Wannado City, John Prince Park or the zoo. I used to do all of the planning, but I’m phasing myself out of the planning piece of it now that we’ve hired a curriculum coordinator.

 

Our church collects donations for Oasis, a food kitchen located approximately at 10th Avenue and Haverhill Road in Lake Worth. Our big goal for this month is to collect 5,878 pounds of food. That number is derived from a Bible verse from Isaiah 58: Verses 7 and 8 (about taking care of our fellow man). To help out with this food drive, see our Mission Impossible Press Release!

 

In addition to the non-perishable foods, we usually bring something fresh each Saturday morning during the month of the food drive – like fresh milk or chicken or juice. Our church motto is “Real faith, real friends, making a real difference!” Last month we collected about $3,000 I.D.E.S. assistance for a church in Haiti.

 

AW: How is the “division of labor” handled in your household with your husband?  When it comes to laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning, paying bills?

 

The division of labor is a work in progress. I just turned 30. Right now I pay the bills and do all of the housework. My husband does everything that relates to outside of the house (like lawn maintenance) and I do the inside of the house. He’s a petroleum technician.

 

AW: What did you major in when you were in school?  Did you know what you wanted to be when you were a “grown up?”

 

I wanted to be a lawyer. I graduated from high school at the top of my class. Then I went to a local community college with a computer science concentration. Then we started a family before I finished college. So I would like to go back someday and finish.

 

AW: Do you ever feel like your activities cause you to “ignore your kids?” Why or why not? 

 

Yes, it depends on the situation. At first there wasn’t very much for kids at my church, until I started the kids’ program. Because it’s something that my kids benefit from, the kids’ program has been very fulfilling for me.

 

I was happy to hear Shauna say that she wants “to be a worship leader like her mom!” In other words, I must be doing something right in their eyes. If everything is copasetic here at home and everyone’s happy, it doesn’t bother me as much whether the house is in order. I was inspired by this quote that someone shared with me, “We have enough time in the day to do what God wants us to do in a day.” If I put God first, family second and everything else after that, it all works out.

 

AW: What message do you want your kids to learn, more than anything else?

No matter what they choose (to succeed or fail at), as long as Christ is at the center of their life, all is well. We can be so imperfect as human beings, but Christ gives us what we need. My dad was married five times. I grew up with my mom and my step dad, and now my mother has passed away. We all live imperfect lives. We all have our demons, but we always want our kids to be better. In trying to offer some guidance to the teenager in our house (my younger brother Joel), I want to let him understand that our parents were not perfect. I can just be the best example possible.  And if our family is together, loving and seeking God, that’s the bottom line. That’s what is important.

 

Andrea McKenney has her own business, Premier Designs Jewelry. See her ad on our website www.aroundwellington.com. You can visit www.premierdesigns.com for more information or contact Andrea at: premierlyu@ymail.com or (561) 506-5967. Ask about being a Premier Hostess!

 

 

 

Amy RobertsAmy Roberts and family

 

AW: What’s the most challenging thing about being a mother and balancing part-time work with it?

 

It’s balancing the time when I’m at home. I spend a lot of hours at night doing what would normally be my day-time work. Before children I used to have hobbies, now my children’s activities and volunteering are my hobbies. It’s funny, but for the past five years or so, one of my New Year’s resolutions has been to organize our family photo albums. Well, that hasn’t happened yet.

 

AW: What do you do for work?


I’m a graphic designer and marketing consultant. I help various small businesses and non-profit groups in our area with their marketing and graphic design needs.  I help them with logos, advertisements, flyers, direct mail, signage, e-mail marketing and more.

AW: How old are your kids?  At what point do things get easier?

 

We have Jake (7) and Alexa (5). Jake is at Panther Run Elementary and Alexa is in the Pre-K program at St. Peter’s Child Enrichment Center. I don’t expect it to get “easier” at any point.  As they grow older I expect things to get busier, and I look forward to the challenge!

 AW: What volunteer work do you do?

 

I’m a PTA Board Member, which is nice because you get to interact with all of the teachers and parents and I get an “inside” look into how the school is running. We do a lot of fundraising for Panther Run Elementary in order to buy things the school needs. For example, playground equipment, PE equipment, media room equipment, computers and other essentials. I also produce the school newsletter which really keeps me in the know.  I am the room mom for both of my kids. Room moms generally help organize class events, fundraising efforts, teacher appreciation efforts and more. I also serve on the board for The Isles at Wellington.  I’ve been on the board for the past three years and I produce a newsletter.  I also help our church, St. Peter’s, with annual fundraising events such as the Spring Fair and Harvest Festivals.  These volunteer opportunities are why I’m working part-time right now, so I can get involved in my children’s lives, our community and still be there for my children when they get home from school.

AW: How is the “division of labor” handled in your household with your husband?  When it comes to laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning, paying bills?

In general, my husband handles all of the outside work and I handle the inside. He does help me with the dishes and other minor repairs as well as reading to the kids each night. He handles the major bills, and I handle my personal bills like my credit cards, cell phone, life insurance, gas, etc.  We’re busy like so many other parents are because our kids are involved in sports. My husband works in Sunrise, so it’s a big commute but he still manages to attend the kid’s games and even coach. Alexa has gymnastics on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Jake has baseball games, and my husband is a coach for his team. Alexa also does cheerleading at St. Peter’s. People ask me why do I do all of this. My reply, “I like being involved and making a difference. That’s why.” We hope our kids will grow up to want to do the same.

 

AW: Did you know what you wanted to be when you were a “grown up?” What did you major in when you were in school?

 

I knew I wanted to do something creative and in marketing when I “grew up.”  I received my undergraduate degree in Advertising and Communications at Michigan State University. Then I achieved my Master’s in Business Administration with an emphasis in Marketing from Marymount University in Arlington, Virginia while working full-time. Graphic Design was my minor at Michigan State, but turned out to be a great part-time job for me after having children.  Before having a family, I used to work a 50-hour work week at VeriSign as a Marketing Manager, and previous to that at a CAIS Internet, both in the D.C. area.

AW: Do you ever feel like your activities cause you to “ignore your kids?” Why or why not? 

I don’t because most of what I’m doing is centered around them. I’m in their classrooms a lot and at their practices and games. After school we try to find fun things to do and my husband reads to them nightly. We also like to find fun activities to do with the kids on weekends apart from the sports.  When they’re in school during the day or in bed for the night, that’s when I try to get client and volunteer work done. 

AW: What message do you want your kids to learn, more than anything else?

I’d like my children to learn to get involved and make the most of every day. That family and health is everything AND that it’s important to love, laugh and try to make a difference in someone else’s life.

Amy Roberts has her own business, ASR Marketing and Graphic Design. She is actively looking for new clients. You can visit www.AmyRoberts.com for more information or email her at: asrfl@bellsouth.net.

 

 

Lois Spatz

Eaven, David, Lois and Shawn Spatz
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

AW: What’s the most challenging thing about being a mother and balancing work with it?

 

To be in balance…that is the most challenging thing. If one thing is off, then another suffers. You have to think about your family before you say “yes” to something. It’s so important to remember yourself in the equation.

 

AW: What do you do for work?

 

I try to put as much work into my LS Photography business I can. Also, I do Eldercare on a part-time basis. I’m the main photographer for Binks Forest Elementary school. I’m on the board of Wellington Landings Middle School and am in charge of Media Relations. For our Cub Scouts pack, I’m the chairperson, the Media Relations coordinator and the “pack photographer.”

 

 

 

AW: How old are your kids?  At what point do things get easier?  

 

Shawn is 13 and Eaven is 9.  I do not think it ever gets “easier,” it just gets challenging in different ways. When they were little, it was more physical. Doing things like changing diapers, chasing them in the store and carrying a hundred things just to go to the mall is now replaced with more emotional and physiological issues like how to teach them to handle bullies or how to develop good learning habits.

 

 

AW: What volunteer work do you do?

 

I used to work for local newspapers and area magazines, so my skills as a photographer and writer are often volunteered to both children’s schools. I am on the PTO for Wellington Landings Middle as a Public Relations contact and I do many photos and write-ups for Binks Forest Elementary. I am also on the Committee for our Pack 125 Cub Scout Group as Media and Public Relations Advisor.

 

 

 

AW: How is the “division of labor” handled in your household with your husband?  When it comes to laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning, paying bills?

 

I am very blessed to have a great husband named David. My mother-in-law gave me good advice when I started out. She said, “Let him make mistakes and eventually he will get it right. If you criticize everything your husband does for you, he will stop helping.” I bit my tongue many times, but today, I can say he does everything to help around the house. David does the bills, (which he has learned to pay right off of his iPhone), he cooks on certain nights, takes out the trash and always takes the kids places. David even supports me when I travel to see friends and family alone. He sees how it refreshes my batteries, and I am a better person when I get some time alone.

 

AW: What did you major in when you were in school?  Did you know what you wanted to be when you were a “grown up?”

 

I majored in English/Literature. I also went to Cosmetology School and earned my license. I worked and managed Regis salons for years. I also trained as an airline reservations supervisor and worked for the airlines for a few years. 

 

No, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. This was the problem. I always knew I wanted be a writer deep down inside, but I pursued many careers before I admitted to myself I had to give that occupation a try. (I am still dancing around it.) I did, however, always know I wanted to be a mother.

 

AW: Do you ever feel like your activities cause you to “ignore your kids?” Why or why not? 

 

I developed a saying. Do not let the things I am doing to “help” the kids, take away from my being with the kids. I say I developed because it took me a while to figure out if I am volunteering for the school 15 hours a week and not taking my son to the park, then I am not doing my job as a mother.

 

 

AW: What message do you want your kids to learn, more than anything else?

 

The Golden Rule! Do unto others as you would have done to you. I teach them that what they put out into the world…is what they get back. I want them to understand that when you give kindness and do nice things for others, this is the way people will treat you. I also try to teach them that there are people that do not play by the rules. And for them, we can learn about compassion.

 

Lois Spatz runs her own photography business, LS Photography. You can visit http://lsphotos.vpweb.com/ for more information or email her at: loisinfla@mac.com. Lois also contributes stories and photos to AroundWellington.com. She can also be reached at 561-797-1056.

 

 

 

Lisa Dawn Wax

 

AW: What’s the most challenging thing about being a mother and balancing work with it?

 

Doing what is best for my child without killing me in the process.Lisa Dawn Wax and family Time management, of course, sharing quality time together and still managing to check off as many things on my to do list as possible. Seeing him always with a smile; raising a healthy, happy, well adjusted child, while at the same time being a healthy, happy, well-adjusted adult.

 

AW: What do you do for work?

 

Although technically I suppose I am a stay-at-home mom because I do not go to an office, I work at writing my monthly column, giving reiki treatments, massages and life coaching/spiritual guidance.  In addition I am constantly cleaning, preparing meals, grocery shopping, running errands, paying bills, managing finances and investments, and fixing things or planning things. I am also constantly reading, researching and studying to deepen my understanding of spirituality, so that I can be a better teacher and healer. It seems that my phone never stops ringing, text messages and emails never stop coming as people are constantly seeking out my opinions and advice. There is a well-known life coach, Cheryl Richardson, who calls herself Coach on Call. Well, I too seem to be a “coach on call.” My work is to help make other people’s lives easier and better.

 

AW: How old are your kids?  At what point do things get easier?

 

Dante is 5 years old. It’s starting to get a little easier now as he is getting more autonomous.

 

 

AW: What volunteer work do you do?

 

I’m a Patient Visitor for Hospice of Palm Beach County and a Room Mom at Dante’s school.

 

AW: How is the “division of labor” handled in your household with your husband?  When it comes to laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning, paying bills?

 

When it comes to laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning, paying bills? There is no division of labor. I do everything. I married an Italian!

 

AW: What did you major in when you were in school?  Did you know what you wanted to be when you were a “grown up?”

 

I started college as pre-med with the idea of becoming a Nurse Practitioner, but half-way through I changed to writing with the idea of changing the world. LOL.

 

AW: Do you ever feel like your activities cause you to “ignore your kids?” Why or why not? 

 

Sometimes I feel like I don’t pay as much attention as I should because I am constantly multi-tasking. I’ll sit down with him for a moment and then think of something I need to do or forgot to do and jump up to do it saying, “I’ll be right back.”  But we always have bedtime together. That’s our special “Mommy/Dante” time that I never skimp on. I put him to sleep every night with a story, some TV, a lullaby or two and lots of cuddling.

 

 

AW: What message do you want your kids to learn, more than anything else?

 

Hmmm. That’s a tough one. I feel like the message I want him to learn now is different from the messages I will want him to learn as he gets older. For now I just want him to know that mommy loves him more than anything else, she’ll always be there for him, and that love never dies. As he gets older I suppose I’ll want him to understand and appreciate more about how to love and how to be loved.

 

Lisa Dawn Wax, aka Lightworker Lisa, has been certified in Massage Therapy, Fitness Training and Reiki Healing for over 15 years. In addition to being a born Lightworker she is a certified Angel Healing Practitioner and Reiki Master; all of which basically confirm her intuitive abilities and commitment to help, heal and teach. Using Reiki, divine messages and intuitive readings, she has helped many people to identify the source of their pain, clarify current life situations, and successfully redirect their focus into positive channels. She also writes a monthly column for AroundWellington.com called “Lighten Up with Lisa.” She can be reached at 561-594-3948 or visit her website www.lightworkerlisa.com.

March, 2010 – Michael Tucker and Jill Eikenberry, “The Tuckenberrys”

From LA Law to Family Meals

 

A Closer Look at Michael Tucker and Jill Eikenberry

 

By Marla E. Schwartz

 

Family.  We all have some notion of what this word conjures up.  The meaning or definition of family is just as diverse as the type of families that exist around the world.  However, the ability to thoughtfully explore this distinct yet all too familiar ideal and to be able to write a book about it is not an easy task.

 

Family Meals...by Michael Tucker
Family Meals...by Michael Tucker. Photo by Marla E. Schwartz.

Taking this deep emotional dive into the reservoir of such meaning is exactly what Michael Tucker and his wife of thirty-seven years Jill Eikenberry have done in their recent memoir, FAMILY MEALS: Coming Together to Care for an Aging Parent” (Grove/Atlantic, $24.00).  Actually, Michael wrote it and Jill thoughtfully articulated her thoughts on it thereby helping tremendously with the editing process.  They recently presented and discussed the journey of their book at the Lore & Eric F. Ross Annual JCC Book Festival Luncheon in Boynton Beach at the Indian Spring Country Club to a room packed with 250 people, almost all of whom could relate to the situation of having aging parents no longer able to care for themselves.

 

 

 

 

This real-life couple’s jaunt into the celebrity realm began when they were cast as a married couple on the very successful television program LA LAW” (1986-94) as Stuart Markowitz (tax law) and Ann Kelsey (civil law).  Michael’s eight-year run on this popular NBC drama brought him three Emmy and two Golden Globe nominations.  Jill earned four Emmy and two Golden Globe nominations and a Golden Globe Award.

 

It’s very apparent whether you’re watching Michael and Jill perform on this memorable TV program, being lucky enough to catch them on stage, or writing a book together – that they exemplify the meaning of true love.  They met at the Arena Stage in Washington, D.C. when they appeared together in “The Night Thoreau Spent in Jail (1970)” and in a play called “Moonchildren (1971)”.

 

The raw reality of the natural cycle of the circumstances of the ever-changing flow of life is what’s at the heart of this story.  In a nutshell, the book is about their journey as a happily married couple settling into their breathtaking 350-year-old farmhouse in the middle of Italy, with two grown children living in the U.S., Alison (a nutritionist) and Max (a musician), but on separate coasts, when Jill’s mother Lora unexpectedly becomes a widow and shortly afterwards falls into a marked state of dementia.

 

Generations coming together to help each other out in a time of need is something the Tuckerberry’s have artfully accomplished; and is something that others so desperately want to emulate, thus the success of their book and book tour is self-evident. The tome captures numerous family anecdotes with intimate family reveals told with an admirable blend of both grace and wit.  It’s a very touching story and as far as memoirs go, it’s one of the best reads you’ll ever have and when done you’ll feel as if you’re actually a part of their family.

 

Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker. Photos by Marla E. Schwartz.
Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker. Photo by Marla E. Schwartz.

Michael and Jill were able to answer a few questions about their book (and other things) for us.

 

 

 

 

AROUND WELLINGTON (AW):  Alzheimer’s is a devastating disease; at which point did you realize that combining your personal experiences with this disease would make a good topic for a book?

 

JILL EIKENBERRY (JE):  First of all, I want to say that we don’t have a conclusive diagnosis of Alzheimer’s for my mom. A neurologist did some tests a number of years ago and diagnosed something called Frontal Lobe Syndrome. He said he wasn’t able to give her a definitive Alzheimer’s diagnosis at that time. As you probably know, Alzheimer’s is difficult to diagnose. My mother has advanced dementia, but dementia can be a symptom of several different diseases. Alzheimer’s is one of them. Frontal Lobe Syndrome is another one. And about the rest of the question, I should have my husband answer it because he’s the one who decided to write the book.

 

MICHAEL TUCKER (MT):  I had finished the previous book and I was in that trough between books and I knew that I wanted to write something else and we were in the middle of this chaos with Jill’s mom and Jill was in deep denial and I was watching it and trying to be the voice of reason.  I felt it was the time in our relationship that we were the least close, not because we weren’t getting along but because I couldn’t say the truth to her as she essentially asked me not to and it was very frustrating.  And that’s when I began to write the book.  The book really is my telling Jill’s story.  In so doing I was able to understand why she didn’t want to hear the truth at that moment and in telling the reader’s about that I was able to understand it better.  That was really the impetus of the book.  In general, I really like to write and after a lifetime of working in collaborative art in theater and film where you’re doing someone else’s work, along with a bunch of other people, to do something of my own, that I generate, and do it by myself is extremely pleasurable to me. 

 

I’ll tell you this one story. We used to have a house when we were living in California in Big Sur.  That was our getaway place.  It was a wonderful place.  And we had one of the writers from LA LAW come up to visit. A guy named William Finklestein, a wonderful writer. And, I had written this one story about a childhood crab feast that I had in the Eastern Shore of Maryland and I showed it to Billy and he said ‘you should write a book’.  And I did.  I wrote a couple of more chapters.  Each chapter was about separate times in my life that were around a great meal or a great disaster of a meal and I called the book, “I Never Forget a Meal”.  It was my first book.

 

AW:  Have you ever thought about writing a book with your daughter, perhaps based on her recipes as a nutritionist and the meals she cooks for Lora?

 

MT:  That’s a great idea.  I don’t know what I’m going to write about next.  I’m in the process of finishing my first novel.

 

AW:  Are you allowed to talk about it yet?

 

MT:  Not too much.  I haven’t shown it to anybody yet and I’m about to – and I’m very, very excited about it.

 

AW:  I’m excited about it.  Writing a novel is very difficult.

 

MT:  It’s different – a very different process because you’re making it all up.

 

AW:  Ah, are you really making it up?

 

MT:  Actually, I recently spoke to someone who said there’s much more truth in a novel than there is in any memoir.

 

AW:  How are you able to go on book tours, travel to New York and return to Italy – how do you fit this all into your schedule?  It seems very complicated.

 

MT: That’s a very good question.  Honey, how do we fit all of this into our schedule, going here, going there?  You know, it’s not easy.  But the thing of it is – is that we just have fun.  And Jill’s just about to start rehearsals for a play in New York in an off-Broadway musical and that’ll be great and we won’t be going back to Italy until she’s done, which is in June.  Hopefully, nothing else will come up that’ll keep us here so we can spend the entire summer in Italy.  We just do things as they come along – there’s no schedule in our lives.  We just took a two-week intensive Italian course in Rome, last time we were there, and one word that came out of it is, ‘giropagare’, which means to wander aimlessly. Wherever we go we try to make the best of it and that’s the way it goes. In fact, I saw a reading of the play Jill’s going to be in and I think it’s going to be totally terrific.

 

AW:  Jill, can you tell me a little bit about this upcoming play?

 

JE:  It’s a new musical based on a book by Dan Savage.  He has a sexual advice column in the Village Voice and a lot of other publications around the country.  He also has a radio show.  He’s kind of an outrageous advice columnist.  He’s also gay and he has had a partner for a number of years and this is the story of their attempt and eventual success at adopting a child.  It’s a good story and I play his mother. 

 

AW:  Is his mother supportive?

 

JE:  Yeah.  He has had a tremendous relationship with his mother and she was actually on the radio show with him.  I just met him last week and I really like him a lot.  It’s very hard for him to watch this story unfold because he just recently lost his mother.  Anyway, I’m very taken with the subject.  It’s a very moving story but incredibly funny because he’s always very incredibly acerbic and ironic.  He didn’t write the book or the music but he wrote the book that it’s based on.

 

AW:  Maybe he can consider this play a love letter to his mom. 

 

JE:  Yah, exactly.  And it’s going to be done at The New Group on Theatre Row. 

 

AW:  Do you know when it’s going to open?

 

JE:  The first preview will be April 1st, it’ll open a couple of weeks later to the press and it’ll run until June 7th.  The other thing I want to say is that Mike and I did a musical last year called, “Enter Laughing”, a musical based on a book by Carl Reiner.  And it seems to be going to Broadway next fall.  It was announced in the New York Times so we think it’s official.

 

AW:  Let me ask you, if somebody could write a part for the two of you, in a movie or a play, do you have any idea of what type of roles you’d like to play?  What would your dream role be?

 

JE:  I don’t really think of it that way so much anymore.  There are certainly a lot of wonderful roles out there that I am more likely to be able to portray, as I get older.  But I like the idea that Mike was saying about the Italian word (girovagare) which allows me to see what comes along and what’s going to excite me.  It’s not so much that I have an agenda on what I have to play.

 

AW:  On a more personal note, who came up with the affectionate term ‘Tuckerberry’s’ by which you’re known? 

 

JE:  I think the guy who helped us out with our horses at our wonderful home in Big Sur dubbed our land ‘Tuckerberry Farm.’ Is that where we came up with Tuckerberry?

 

MT:  No.

 

JE:  No?  Oh, I’m sorry, I’m wrong.  When was it … oh — it was when we first decided to have a corporation when we came up with the name and called our land ‘Tuckerberry Farm’.  But I think even Steven Bochco (co-creator, producer, writer – LA LAW) called us the Tuckerberry’s when he introduced us at a luncheon.  (She laughs.)  If you ask each of us the same question you’re bound to get many different answers.

 

In fact, Steven was a classmate of Michael’s at Carnegie-Mellon University and when it came time to cast the roles of Markowitz and Kelsey, they were his only choice to play this couple. Additionally, when the show first aired Jill was diagnosed with breast cancer and Steven was instrumental in helping them through this crisis.  And once someone faces a crisis, others seem somewhat easier to bear.

 

Here’s wishing this lovely couple no more crises’ and many, many more FUN years of girovagare!

 

Check out these other books written by Michael Tucker:


I NEVER FORGET A MEAL:  An Indulgent Reminiscence – Michael includes 29 of his favorite recipes in this delightful and nostalgic epicurean adventure.


LIVING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE:  A Memoir of Food, Wine, and Love in Italy – Following the spontaneous acquisition of a 350-year-old stone cottage in the countryside of central Italy, Jill and Michael juggle the sensual pleasures and cultural challenges in their new Umbrian neighborhood.

 

You can get more information on their upcoming projects by going to their official website: http://www.tuckerberry.com/.

 

And if you’re planning a trip to NYC, don’t miss Jill’s performance in “The Kid”, based on Dan Savage’s book, “The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant,” featuring music by Andy Monroe, a book by Michael Zam and lyrics by Jack Lechner.  For tickets to this show at The New Group, 410 West 42nd Street (between Ninth & Tenth Avenue), call (212) 279-4200 and/or, visit TheNewGroup.org.

 

L-r) Annual JCC Book Festival Co-chair Gloria Dube, Book Festival Luncheon Co-chair Claire Sirof, featured guests Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker, Book Festival Luncheon Co-chair Edith Steindler, and Book Festival Co-chair Barbara Kleppel. JCC Staff Image by Jeff Lincoln.
(L to R) Annual JCC Book Festival Co-chair Gloria Dube, Book Festival Luncheon Co-chair Claire Sirof, featured guests Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker, Book Festival Luncheon Co-chair Edith Steindler, and Book Festival Co-chair Barbara Kleppel. JCC Staff Image by Jeff Lincoln.

 

Featured Book Festival Luncheon guests Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker discuss “Family Meals: Coming Together to Care for an Aging Parent” at the Annual JCC Book Festival Luncheon in Boynton Beach.
Featured Book Festival Luncheon guests Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker discuss “Family Meals: Coming Together to Care for an Aging Parent” at the Annual JCC Book Festival Luncheon in Boynton Beach. JCC Staff Image by Jeff Lincoln.

 

 

 

 

 

michael-tucker-image-3-lightened
Husband and wife acting team Michael Tucker and Jill Eikenberry drew a capacity crowd of 250 at the Annual JCC Book Luncheon in Boynton Beach. JCC Staff Image by Jeff Lincoln.

 

 

***

 

Marla E. SchwartzA native of Toledo, OH and a graduate of Kent State, Marla E. Schwartz has been a professional journalist since she was a teenager.  She’s a Senior Writer for Miami Living Magazine, and a freelance writer for CRAVINGS South Florida in Aventura, as well as Around Wellington Magazine, Lighthouse Point Magazine, and P.A.N.D.O.R.A.  An avid photographer, her images have appeared in numerous Ohio publications, as well as in Around Wellington Magazine, Lighthouse Point Magazine, Miami Living Magazine, The Miami Herald, The Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel and The Palm Beach Post.  She has had numerous plays published and produced around the country.  Her short play, America’s Working? was originally read at First Stage in Los Angeles and in the same city produced at the Lone Star Ensemble.  It was then produced at Lynn University in Boca Raton, FL and taken to an off-Broadway playhouse by its producers Adam and Carrie Simpson.  Her piece, The Lunch Time Café, was a finalist for the Heideman Award, Actors Theatre of Louisville. She has also written a handful of screenplays with one opted for production a few years ago.  Feel free to contact her at: meschwartz1@hotmail.com.

March, 2010 – Astrology at Work

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ASTROLOGY AT WORK IN YOUR LIFE

 

March, 2010Karola Crawford

 

By Karola Crawford

 

Editor’s Note: Karola is taking the month of April off and will return in May.

 

    The start of a new cycle brings birthday greetings to Aries, the Ram as it starts the spring equinox.  You are always apt to get noticed in a group as you are the most gregarious and talkative in the crowd.  Your high spirit is contagious and your laughter brings even the most serious to a lighter note.  You are inspirational, courageous, enthusiastic, original and independent at your best, but you can also exhibit signs of impatience, selfish and impulsive behavior, and at times can be downright headstrong.  Aries is the point of all beginning.  All the energies are self-centered and self-directed, which can make it difficult to form a partnership unless the person has a good sense of responsibility.  You tend to start many projects but require a pat on the head to continue as you can suddenly lose interest in it if the progress is too slow or things have become too complicated.  You have a gift for waking up the environment where you find yourself and don’t sit quietly in a corner waiting for someone to speak to you.  You are not subtle.  If you want something, you go after it.  You enjoy people, and in love you are passionate.  Usually you enjoy good health because you move around enough to exercise your body.  As parents, you tend to push your children extremely hard, but even so, you make good parents.  The three things that an Aries should learn are:  patience, conservation of energy, and completion.  Wherever you find the sign of Aries in your chart indicates where you need to be independent, and are a self-starter.

 

   This month starts a cycle of responsibility which will continue for several months, though you may wish to throw caution to the wind.  Plan for leaner days now.

 

   Taurus – Careful that you don’t get fooled by a smooth talker.  See circumstances for what they truly are, not what you wish they should be.

 

   Gemini – Move forward with momentum and don’t look back.  You are truly on a roll.  Your endless charm will prove to be a big hit.

 

   Cancer – Go with the punches and move forward.  The past is over and only the present is what counts at this point.

 

   Leo – You may need a bit of rest after exerting so much energy this past month.  Get that long awaited massage and get pampered.

 

   Virgo – Things are going to get a bit more emotional this month and you may regret the unconventional ways of dealing with the past.  Be original and creative now.

 

   Libra – Stick with the old and tried and leave the new plans for another time.  A father figure may prove to be the wisest.

 

   Scorpio – You prove to be the authority figure that others look to this month, but don’t take advantage of your sense of power.  A sense of humility will keep everyone happy.

 

   Sagittarius – A very sensitive time can spur you into creativity this month.  Make sure that what you feel are truly your own feelings.  Meditation is good.

 

   Capricorn – You are gathering forces and becoming larger on the forefront.  Keep everyone’s best interest at heart.

 

   Aquarius – Fishing is very appealing, then again, so is the beach.  Water activities of any sort are highly recommended.

 

   Pisces – Work with your hands and create beauty all around.  You have special talents that want to be brought out now in a serving way.

 

Karola Crawford, MAFA, has been a certified Astrologer for 22 years. She has cast charts for clients all over the world and also practices Holistic medicine, Yoga, Shiatsu, Reiki, Auricular Acupucture and is an accomplished artist. Where does she get all of her energy? A grand trine in fire, of course. Karola can be reached at 561-615-1591 or by visiting the web site at www.karolacrawford.com.

March, 2010 – Five Ways to Celebrate Earth Day

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Living GreenChristine Smith

Five Ways to Celebrate Earth Day 2010

By Christine Powell Smith

The official day for Earth Day is April 22nd and it is celebrated worldwide.  Most celebrations will be the weekend before to allow more people to participate.

What is Earth Day? Earth Day aims to inspire awareness of, and appreciation for, earth’s environment. It is currently observed in more than 140 countries around the world. Here are five ways that you and your family can participate and enjoy Earth Day!

1) Make a reusable shopping bag

Stop using plastic.  Do you know that about 100 billion plastic bags are used each year in the U.S. alone?   Add to that… the huge economies and populations of India, China, Europe, and other parts of the world, and the number of bags used worldwide is quite staggering. The problem is further exacerbated when developed countries ship off their plastic waste to developing countries like India.  You can purchase reusable shopping bags almost anywhere, but why not try to make your own?  For ideas click here.

 2) Have a scavenger hunt

Scavenger hunts are fun, and they are also great ice breakers.  I remember one time I went to a business function and I didn’t know anyone there.  There was a scavenger hunt planned where you got paired-up in groups.  We got to know each other quickly and had a phenomenal time.  Here’s an idea… invite some friends and/or family over, pair them up with people they don’t know, and give them the list of items that they have to find.  Don’t sweat being a host… have everyone bring a dish (of course in a reusable container).   A gathering and celebration of Earth Day all in one!

3) Plant a tree

Easy, simple, and you can do this in your own backyard or around your community.  If you don’t have much of a green thumb, visit Your Tree and they can do it for you.

4) Recycle toys and games

By giving their old toys and games to younger children who could make use of them, older children learn two lessons: one is the joy of giving, and the second is the sensibility of reusing and recycling instead of throwing things away. Hey, this isn’t just reserved for the kids… you too can do this with your clothes, books and more.

5) Get involved in your community

Check your local newspaper or Television station to see if your school, your street, your local neighborhood is having an environmental fair… and don’t simply attend – get involved!  Things to have at the fair include demonstrations of environmentally-friendly products, children’s artwork, healthy/locally grown foods to eat, animal care demonstrations (including wildlife rescue), games for the children made of recycled products, musicians and actors performing environmental music and skits, stalls which are recycling unwanted treasures and books, local environmental organizations presenting their issues and wares. Money raised can go towards a local environmental restoration project or to an environmental group agreed upon by all the participants running the fair.

 

Christine Smith is a Principal, as well as the Director of Marketing for Fine Lions, Inc. Fine Lions specializes in a proprietary Eco-friendly wood graining process that is applied to non wood products to give them the appearance of natural wood. This earth conscious application may be done on exterior and interior doors, garage doors, kitchen and bath cabinets, as well as other surfaces.  To learn more, visit  http://www.finelions.com.

March, 2010 – Glass Dismissed

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As I Was SayingAlan Williamson

 

Glass Dismissed

 

By Alan Williamson

 

            Peek inside the kitchen cabinets in our home and you’ll come face to face with a disturbing secret my wife and I have kept quiet for decades: we keep our socks and underwear in with our plates and dishes. Okay, not really. That’s a disgusting lie designed to get your attention, but if you really did open our kitchen cabinets, you would see something almost as jarring: a massive stash of drinking glasses that has spiraled way out of control and continues to expand against all rhyme or reason.

          Spooked by the seemingly bizarre imbalance, I recently sat down and did the math: 2 people divided by 124 glasses = 62 glasses per person per day. And that doesn’t even factor in the countless glasses squirreled away in china cabinets, the living room wall bar, and boxes under beds, in closets and stacked out in the garage.

          Our “glasses of mass consumption” surplus started innocently enough. When my wife and I first joined forces, I possessed a certain number of assorted drinking glasses (8) and Sherry had a certain, somewhat higher number (58). As time went on, my glasses – which mostly consisted of 16 oz. plastic tumblers commemorating an outdoor event that I consumed a cold beer at – were weeded out to make room for more respectable, stylish glasses that came in sets, had elegant stems, and illuminated alluringly when the light hit them.

          Now, as best as I can figure it, here’s where things started to get out of hand. During occasions when our “good glasses” played a prominent role in a social gathering at the house, we became quietly and irrevocably identified by well-intentioned friends and family as “appreciators of nice glasses.” This led to our receiving sets of glasses as gifts on a regular basis. Red wine glasses. White wine glasses. Red and white wine glasses. Crystal dinner glasses. Smoked dinner glasses. Every day dinner glasses. Indoor/outdoor glasses. Fancy coffee drink glasses. Holiday-themed coffee mugs. Coffee mugs from the White Castle Hamburger collection that, in spite of their blatant promotional purpose, are sturdy, first-rate mugs worth reaching around the more “respectable” mugs in the cabinet to get to.

          On any given day, in fact, my choice of glasses follows a conspicuously narrow and predictable pattern.

          Morning: I’ll reach for a White Castle coffee mug or a mug that says “The Grand Village: Branson, Missouri.” (I’ve never been to Branson, Missouri, but the mug evokes an odd sentimentality in me fueled by visions of an ancient Andy Williams singing The Hawaiian Wedding Song while I eat roasted chicken and mash potatoes at a dinner theater with busloads of tourists.)

          Noon: I’ll reach for a 12 oz. plastic tumbler that says “Promenade in the Park: The Family, Food and Fun Festival” or a 16 oz. plastic tumbler that says “It’s 5 o’ clock at the Quarter Deck Lounge.”

          Night: I’ll reach for a tinted German wine glass with a green spiral stem or a goblet-style wine glass with grapes hand-painted on it by our friend Jane while she skillfully drank wine from another glass.

          According to my meticulous calculations, that leaves about 56 glasses allotted for my daily use that are severely underemployed and deserve to hear the words “glass dismissed” any day now. Even if I quadrupled my daily fluid intake, I’m reasonably confident that I could still get by with less than 10 glasses, even if it meant resorting to more or less unlimited refills of the multipurpose “Promenade in the Park: The Family, Food and Fun Festival” mug.   

          One consolation in all this is that during candid conversations with intensely private couples who prefer to remain nameless (Uncle Al and Aunt Jean), I’ve discovered that others have a similar baffling surplus. While the consensus is that it’s nice to have extra glasses around for when you have company, Sherry and I don’t throw the kind of get-togethers where 124 glasses are needed on standby to be called into active service.

Actually, Sherry and I don’t throw the kind of get-togethers where 24 glasses would be needed. That being said, you never know when the national tour bus of a philharmonic orchestra might break down in front of your home and serving refreshments in paper cups would reflect poorly on your reputation for exceptional class and cultural sophistication.

In the meantime, please excuse me while I refill my “It’s 5 o’clock at the Quarter Deck Lounge” mug. It’s not the most attractive glass in the house, but it holds a hardy 16 ounces and when I accidentally knock it over lunging for the last chicken wing I can pick it right up, wipe it right off, and start all over again.

Alan Williamson is an award-winning writer with 27 years in the field of true fiction (advertising). A practical man who knows that writing for a living is risky going, he has taken steps to pursue a second, more stable career as a leggy super model. Alan can be reached at alwilly@bellsouth.net.

March, 2010 – Love & Money

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By the Numbers

 

Love & Money: 25 Financial Tips for Couples

By Kathleen Gurney, Ph.D, and Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP

Excerpted from:
Love & Money: 150 Financial Tips for Couples
This booklet is for sale in the WIFE bookstore: order info

The way we earn, spend, and save money is a practical expression of our most fundamental beliefs. When our priorities are out of sync, money can become the great divide in an otherwise harmonious relationship. 

By working together toward financial freedom, money can cease being a source of conflict and become a way to express our highest values, while providing comfort and security to those we love most. 

Here are ways that you, as a couple, can improve your relationship with money.

While dating

  1. Learn to have fun without a lot of money. A bike ride, walk in the park, home-cooked meal, free concert, or ice cream cone are just a few of the opportunities available to enjoy time with your lover without spending a lot of money.
  2. Pay attention to your partner’s financial habits. Just because your beloved is a lot of fun and a good kisser does not mean that she is fiscally responsible. Before you commit yourself, learn how your partner handles the big issues of real life, including financial matters.
  3. Discuss your dreams and goals with your partner. Almost everything you will do during your lives together will cost money. Make sure your partner’s goals are compatible with yours.

Living Together

  1. Don’t move in by degrees. Some people leave their toothbrush one night, then a few changes of clothes, and before they know it, they’ve moved in. Have a discussion with your partner about leases, household expenses, and other important matters before you make your decision.
  2. Create a written living-together agreement. Clarifying your intentions in writing will help you to avoid misunderstandings and costly disagreements later. In most cases, your agreement will be enforceable in court.
  3. Plan carefully before you borrow with your beloved. Determine in advance who will be responsible for debts incurred during the relationship. In the absence of an agreement, each partner is generally responsible for debts for which she has signed, often without recourse to the other partner for repayment.

For Newlyweds 

  1. Time your marriage to minimize taxes. If both you and your beloved are employed, the “marriage penalty” may force you to pay more taxes as a married couple than you would if you were single, so marry the following January rather than December. However, if one spouse earns most of the money, you’ll enjoy a “marriage bonus,” paying less tax as a married couple than you would as two single people, so a December wedding might be wise.
  2. If you are paying for your own wedding, pay cash instead of going into debt. Have the courage to care more for the reality of your joint finances than the symbolic ritual of a lavish party. Consider having a small get-together to memorialize your love, and then throw a larger party when you can afford it.
  3. If you receive monetary gifts on your wedding day, don’t spend them all. Set aside as much as you can to invest for shared dreams, such as a house, business, or children.
  4. Review your investments. Determine if you need to change your investment allocations to meet your joint goals. Your partner’s assets can provide you with some investment flexibility that you could not achieve while single.

Joining Your Financial Lives

  1. Create a workable structure for your financial lives. Who will be responsible for paying bills, filing invoices, balancing the checkbook, and researching large purchases? Establish a division of labor that suits your talents and needs.
  2. Celebrate your differences. If one of you is a saver and the other a spender, create a budget that allows for both. If your partner is a bargain-hunter, put him in charge of the spending part of the budget, while you invest the savings.
  3. Confide in your partner. Keeping financial problems to yourself is destructive to the openness and stability of your relationship. Discuss your worries with your mate and ask her for practical suggestions and support.
  4. Rank your financial priorities. Where your individual goals coincide, make a list of the steps it will take to accomplish those goals. Where they collide, figure out which you can live without and how to combine the rest with your partner’s plans.

Starting a Family

  1. If one partner will stay at home while the other works full-time, discuss the model you will use for your finances. Will you pay the homemaker a salary for her services? Have a spending limit for purchases, like a corporate buyer? Create an arrangement that shows respect for the most important job on Earth: raising a wonderful human being.
  2. If you haven’t already, now is the perfect time to prepare your will. You don’t want guardianship issues to be settled in court if anything happens to you. Ask a friend or relative if he would be willing to be the legal and/or financial guardian for your children after you’re gone. Then, follow through by updating and signing your will.
  3. If you stay home, keep up your career skills. Work part-time to maintain your skills and contacts, or go to school part-time to improve your financial prospects. Maintain your skills so you can ease your transition to the workplace.
  4. Contribute to your child’s Roth IRA. Children, like many other taxpayers, can contribute up to $2,000 of their earnings to an IRA. If your children have part-time jobs, encourage them to save the money in a Roth IRA, perhaps by “matching” the funds they contribute. Roth IRA contributions can be withdrawn tax- and penalty-free and used for college expenses. Earnings can be withdrawn as well after the IRA has been open for five years, but they are subject to tax.

Relationship Skills for Financial Success

  1. Organize regular “money meetings” to discuss your financial situation, dreams, and goals. Use this time to brainstorm creative solutions to problems and generate ideas to improve your future.
  2. Work with your mate’s personality, instead of against it. One of you makes financial decisions instantly, while the other one deliberates for days. One of you hates paperwork, while the other has anxiety if every blank is not filled out completely and perfectly. Focus on a positive outcome, not the method of traveling.
  3. Don’t ignore your partner’s needs. It may not be important to you, but if it’s important to your partner, it’s important to your partnership. Treat your partner as a business associate, not a dumping ground. Hear what your partner is saying, consider it, and respond.
  4. Join an investment club, or form one for your family. Investment clubs are social gatherings where the members can learn about finances together. It’s a great opportunity to share good times and learn how to invest at the same time.

Remarriage

  1. Talk about the money differences you had with your prior spouse. That way, your new mate will learn more about you and will know where you are coming from when differences arise in this relationship.
  2. Be polite to your partner’s ex-spouse. He or she is the lion at the gate guarding your partner’s relationship with his children. Don’t indulge in vengeful or petty actions that may keep you from your larger goal of a happy stepfamily.
  3. Don’t let the children come between you. It takes special vigilance to keep children from prior marriages from fueling disagreements. Discuss in advance how you will share responsibility for children who live with you and how their expenses will be handled.

Excerpted from:
Love & Money: 150 Financial Tips for Couples
This booklet is for sale in the WIFE bookstore: order info

Thanks to www.wife.org for this advice.