Thursday, April 24, 2025
Home Blog Page 1058

May, 2009 – Whole Foods Market Event Calendar

0

For Immediate Release

Contact: Lauren Belinsky

2635 State Road 7

Wellington, FL 33414

561-904-4000

[email protected]

 

May 2009 Events, Whole Foods Market, Wellington

2635 State Road 7

Wellington, FL 33414

Open 8:00am to 10:00pm seven days week

 

Events are held at 2635 State Road 7, in the Lifestyle Center and are free of charge unless otherwise noted.  Register by phone at 561.904.4000 or at the customer service desk. Refunds, credits, or transfer of classes will not be honored for no-shows or cancellations made fewer than 24 hours before event. All events are subject to change.  Classes with low registration may be cancelled.  Any classes cancelled by Whole Foods Market will be refunded. Space is limited. 

 

 

Tuesday May 12th, 19th, 26th

6:00-7:00pm Green Block Party!

Taste your way from one department to the next!  Each department will have a different dish for you to taste made from a selection of organic, local and natural products.  No registration required, just come on in!

 

Friday, May 1st
Lifestyle center closed for a private event

Tuesday, May 5th
5:00pm & 6:30pm Cinco De Mayo!
Join us in the Lifestyle Center to learn how to make Chipotle’s famous guacamole and corn salsa!  We will have two demonstrations of the recipes and lots for you to try.  Registration Required.

Announcement:

Thursday, May 7th
Teacher Appreciation Day!
Give your teacher an organic apple or beautiful herb plant!  Whole Foods Market will be giving gifts to all teachers who attend the Palms West Chamber Teacher Appreciation Event.

Friday, May 8th
9:00-11:00am Mom’s Morning Escape with Mimosas!
In honor of Mothers Day we will be having a special Mom’s Morning Escape.  Mimosas and French toast samples will be given to moms in addition to our customary coffee or tea and muffin breakfast!  You are invited to enjoy a free coffee or tea, and muffin from the coffee bar and bakery.  Pick up your Mom’s Morning Escape voucher from customer service, then, make your way to the coffee bar for breakfast. Also enjoy a relaxing five minute chair massage in the cafe!  Registration Required.

Saturday, May 9th
Kids Club for Ages 5 and up
11:30am Cookie Decorating!

Join our Bakery Team Leader in decorating cookies.  You will learn how to make your cookies look like professionals just in time for Mother’s Day!  Registration Required.

 

Saturday, May 9th

12:00-3:00pm Sparkling Wine Tasting

Stroll through our Specialty Department to try an assortment of our sparkling wines!  No registration necessary.

Sunday, May 10th
Happy Mother’s Day


Thursday, May 14th
6:30pm Gluten Free Cooking

Chef Joe will be teaching us how to make a Gluten Free dinner that tastes great and is easy for anyone to put together.  Bring your appetite and your gluten free questions.  Registration Required.  

 

Saturday, May 16th
11:30am Savvy Shopper Tour

Join us for a taste-filled tour sure to please your family and your wallet! Our experts will show you how to shop our private label, weekly specials and our new family sized savings. Meet at customer service on the day of the event. Registration Required. 


Monday, May 18th

6:30pm Dr. Tim’s Un-Diet

Whether you need to lose that last 5 pounds, or 100 pounds this is the workshop for you. Learn what food groups to add and or remove from your daily meals and drop off the pounds permanently. Dr. Tim DeCanio is a board certified chiropractic neurologist, author and renowned speaker. Registration Required.


Tuesday, May 19th
Lifestyle Center is closed for a private Event

Wednesday, May 20th
Lifestyle Center is closed for a private Event

Thursday, May 21st
Whole Foods Market welcomes the Palms West Chamber of Commerce!  The back of the café and the Lifestyle Center will be closed.

Friday, May 22nd
6:30pm Vietnamese cooking! $5 per person

Join team member Kim Nguien and Chef Joe as they bring you into the world of authentic Vietnamese food and culture.  Registration Required.

 

Saturday, May 23rd

12:00- 4:00pm Beer Tasting

Enjoy sampling different beers from are large selection in our Specialty Department.  No registration necessary, just stop by our Specialty Department.

Monday, May 25th
Dine With The Doc!

5:30-6:30pm– Complementary Massage and Health Screening (first come first serve)

6:30pm Dr. Tim DeCanio Begins!

Eat Well, Move Well, Live Well… Learn the secrets to living the life you always dreamed of, without medications or surgery! Come share an evening of fun, good food, and learning with renowned speaker, Dr. Tim DeCanio, a board certified chiropractic neurologist.  This event is for first time attendees only. If you have attended a previous dine with the doc and wish to continue on your pursuit of a healthy and vigorous life, many other FREE workshops are available. Please contact the office of Dr. Tim DeCanio for more information (561) 422-1819.  Registration at Customer Service Required.


Thursday, May 28th
6:30pm Chicken Basics $5 per person

Chef Joe will be bringing back the basics by teaching you how to work with chicken in many different ways.  This class is for all who want to learn the best techniques to make fantastic chicken dishes.  Registration Required.


Saturday, May 30th
12:00- 4:00pm Whole Body Fair!

Join us in the Whole Body Department to meet vendors, sample products, and to ask questions.  Also sign up for one of our free classes:

1:00pm- Yoga for Kids Ages 9-12

Join yoga teacher Tracy, from Moksha Yoga Studio as she leads kids through playful yoga movements that are fun and easy.  Classes will improve children’s strength, flexibility, and coordination using traditional and animal yoga poses.  Yoga mats will be provided but feel free to bring your own. Registration Required.

3:00pm- Three Supplements You Must Take to Survive

Renowned speaker, Dr. Tim DeCanio will discuss the 3 necessities of life: oxygen, nutrition (food/water) & nerve supply.  Registration Required.

4:00pm- Weight Loss “Hunger Free Forever “

Join Jeff Owen from Natural Factors as he discusses a new effortless approach to reaching your ideal body weight and keeping excess weight off for life. Please pre-register with customer service as space is limited.

 

Need space for a meeting, lecture or birthday party? Contact Lauren Belinsky at [email protected]  for more information.

About Whole Foods Market®
Founded in 1980 in Austin, Texas, Whole Foods Market (www.wholefoodsmarket.com), a leader in the natural and organic foods industry and America’s first national certified organic grocer,  was named “America’s Healthiest Grocery Store” in 2008 by Health magazine. The Whole Foods Market motto, “Whole Foods, Whole People, Whole Planet”™ captures the company’s mission to find success in customer satisfaction and wellness, employee excellence and happiness, enhanced shareholder value, community support and environmental improvement. Thanks to its 53,000 Team Members, Whole Foods Market has been ranked as one of the “100 Best Companies to Work For” in America by FORTUNE magazine for 11 consecutive years. In fiscal year 2008, the company had sales of $8 billion and currently has more than 275 stores in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. Whole Foods Market, Fresh & WildTM, and Harry’s Farmers Market® are trademarks owned by Whole Foods Market IP, LP.  Wild Oats® and Capers Community MarketTM are trademarks owned by Wild Marks, Inc.

 2635 State Road 7 Wellington Florida 33414 561.904.4000 wholefoodsmarket.com

May 22, 2009 – My Gym Wellness Fair & Benefit

0

border

My Gym Benefit for Children’s Coalition

Local children’s fitness center teams with non-profit to deliver toys and necessities to underprivileged youth.

Tommy and Jenny of My Gym in Royal Palm Beach collect toys to donate to the Children's Coalition for their May 22nd event.
Tommy and Jenny of My Gym in Royal Palm Beach collect toys to donate to the Children's Coalition for their May 22nd event.

 

My Gym Children’s Fitness Center of Royal Palm Beach will host a toy and cash donation drive and raffle to benefit the Children’s Coalition, a non-profit dedicated to providing media arts and technology to at-risk youth in West Palm Beach.

TCCI Student Tarre Johnson-Mack with then Presidential candidate Barack Obama. TCCI provides at-risk youth with resources and opportunities that shape positive, lifelong influences.
TCCI Student Tarre Johnson-Mack with then Presidential candidate Barack Obama. TCCI provides at-risk youth with resources and opportunities that shape positive, lifelong influences.

 

Donations are being accepted between now and Friday, May 22nd, when My Gym will host a Family Wellness Fair between 10 am and 2pm at 518 N. State Road 7.

“Hosting this drive for the Children’s Coalition, who are in need of support is the least we could do,” said Tom Copeland, Director of My Gym Royal Palm Beach. “My Gym is more than just a fitness facility for children-it’s a place to empower them by helping to develop the skills, confidence and positive self-image they need to become healthy young adults. The Children’s Coalition shares this compassion as they shape the lives of at-risk teens to become healthy, productive adults.”

We asked Tom Copeland of My Gym a few questions about this terrific fundraiser and about the activities planned for May 22nd.

Who are some of the presenters planned for the Wellness Fair?

Activities will include a bounce house, Fire Trucks For Fun offering fire truck display and teddy bear stuffing activities, car seat safety checks, kids cooking class with Fun Chefs, and a Whole Foods Market tasting activity. Free to the public and anyone interested in signing up for classes with My Gym.

Are there preferred donations…when it comes to toys, clothing or cash? 

 

Lightly-used toys and cash. Prizes and donations from local business will also be raffled away. All donations are appreciated.

 

Is this the first time My Gym has done this benefit?  Will it be an annual event?

 

This is the first annual Spring Health Fair.

 

How did you get the idea to do this Wellness Fair/Benefit?

 

We change the lives of the children we see everyday through our classes, but it’s the children we don’t see that are just as important. Establishing a trusted partnership with the Children’s Coalition is a great way to enhance the lives of unfortunate children, spread some awareness of the importance of health and fitness, and give the community a change to give back with us. My Gym is personally donating nearly 25 brand new Playskool toys and some free classes.

 

How old is the Children’s Coalition? Where are they based out of? 

 

Founder Carlton Cartwright received 501(c) clearance in 1994 while based in West Palm Beach, FL.

How can local people get involved in this event…how can parents of My Gym students get more involved?

Although we’re hosting the Health Fair and Donation Drive, it’s the parents, students, and attendees who will make the difference – the cash and toys we receive will go directly to TCCI. The worldwide recession has left small businesses battered, and non-profit charitable giving has sharply declined. This is a chance to give to those who deserve giving so that, despite all adversity, we can put a smile on our face and theirs.

For more information about My Gym Royal Palm Beach’s Family Wellness Fair, or to register your children for information on where and how to donate toys, clothes, or cash, please contact Tom Copeland at (561) 860-3231.

 

 

May 20, 2009 – Tai Chi Classes Begin

0

border

For immediate release

                                                                                    Contact:  Susie Rhodes

(561) 833-1133

 

 

TAI CHI CLASSES FOR ARTHRITIS BEGIN MAY 20

West Palm Beach, Fla.  (April 23, 2009) – The Mid-East Region of The Arthritis Foundation will offer Tai Chi classes beginning on Monday, May 20th, for people affected by rheumatoid arthritis or other rheumatic diseases. Tai Chi is a fun, safe means of increasing joint activity to help alleviate pain from arthritis.   Beginner classes are at 9:30 a.m. every Monday and Wednesday, while Intermediate classes (for those who have completed Part 1) are at 10:30 a.m.  Cost for the 5-week session is $66 per person and pre-registration is required due to limited class sizes. Adele Gold, who has taught Tai Chi for over seven years, will lead the classes, which will be held at The Arthritis Foundation, 400 Hibiscus Street, located at the corner of Dixie Highway and Hibiscus Street in downtown West Palm Beach..  Gold first began taking Tai Chi classes to help alleviate her own pain from arthritis.    

Tai Chi from the Arthritis Foundation® is designed to improve the quality of life for people with arthritis using Sun style Tai Chi, one of the four major recognized styles of Tai Chi. This style includes agile steps and exercises that may improve mobility, breathing and relaxation. The movements don’t require deep bending or squatting, which makes it easier and more comfortable to learn.

The program itself consists of 12 movements — 6 basic and 6 advanced — a warm up and a cool down. Once becoming familiar with the 12 movements, the program is designed to provide continual challenge by reversing the direction of the movements.  This program was derived and adapted from the Tai Chi for Arthritis program and includes copyrighted materials belonging to Dr. Paul Lam and Tai Chi Productions.

   For more information, contact Susie Rhodes, Community Development Director for The Arthritis Foundation Mid-East Region, at (561) 833-1133.

May, 2009 – Goodwill and other Stories

AROUND WELLINGTON STORIES OF THE MONTH

by Lydia Patterson and Cal Miller

Lydia Patterson, who was helped by the Goodwill's head injury program, and has gone on to better her community.
Lydia Patterson, who was helped by the Goodwill's head injury program, and has gone on to better her community.

 

 

The Goodwill’s Programs

What You Might Not Know about the Goodwill

 

 

Imagine you have a successful career on Wall Street for one of the largest financial institutions in the world.  You have received awards and recognition not only from your business peers but also from your community. You are also fortunate to have a beautiful home and a loving family. Image on a cold day in January 1990, you leave work, begin to drive home and are struck in a head-on collision by another car that has run the stop sign. This one event has changed your life forever.

 

This actually happened to Lydia Patterson. If you see Lydia today, she is a confident, attractive, vibrant woman who always has a kind word to say and a warm smile on her face. The struggle to get back to this point has taken great determination and drive. Due to Lydia’s accident, she suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, even though she was wearing her seat belt. Due to her brain injury, Lydia experienced disorientation, depression, attention problems and chronic frustration. 

 

Lydia soon lost her job and her personal life changed dramatically. Lydia struggled with these symptoms for almost four years. In 1992, Lydia and her husband Berman, decided to move to Wellington, Florida. It was in Florida that Lydia was introduced to Gulfstream Goodwill Industries and its Traumatic Brain Injury program. “It wasn’t until I entered the Goodwill program that all the pieces of the puzzle of my condition began to come together,” says Lydia.The Goodwill

 

Gulfstream Goodwill Industries was established in 1966. The mission of the agency is to assist persons with disabilities to become self-sufficient working members of the community. The non-profit has grown tremendously over a period of more than 40 years of serving the community. It has four rehabilitation centers that serve its five- county area. Last year alone, Goodwill helped almost 5,000 people like Lydia.

Goodwill not only has a traumatic brain injury program but it also offers job evaluation, training and placement. It has four homeless programs and has recently begun working with non-violent offenders who have been released from prison. These are just some of the programs that Goodwill offers. 

 

Inside a Goodwill retail storeWhen people hear the name Goodwill, many automatically think of the Goodwill retail stores. Gulfstream Goodwill operates 25 retail stores in its territory and the money raised by the donated items are sold to generate money to run its rehabilitation programs. Due to the downturn in the economy and steep cuts in government spending, last year was especially difficult for the organization. Sales have begun to increase this year, but the organization now finds itself in desperate need of donations of housewares, furniture and clothing. 

 

Lydia was so impressed with the service she received at Goodwill that she decided to join its board of directors to help spread the agency’s message.” This community needs the quality programs that Goodwill offers. After one’s external wounds heal, there is a long and difficult journey to heal internally and emotionally.”

 

Lydia went to work with the Sickle Cell Foundation of Palm Beach County after leaving the Traumatic Brain Injury Program.  Following her two years with the Foundation, she managed several consulting projects, and became fully retired in 2005. Lydia continues her work with the Goodwill Board, and her membership in the Palms West Chamber of Commerce, The Executive Women of the Palm Beaches and Leadership Palm Beach County.

 

Lydia is grateful for all of the opportunities that coming to Gulfstream Goodwill has given her. “I would just like to say, ‘Thank you, Gulfstream Goodwill.’”

 

For more information on Gulfstream Goodwill programs: Cal Miller (561) 848-7200 X3250; or visit www.gulfstreamgoodwill.com.

 

 

 

May, 2009 – Flavors…A Brief Interview

AROUND WELLINGTON STORIES OF THE MONTH

 

Flavors 2009 Presented by the Wellington ChamberHoffman's Chocolate Fountain

An Interview with Michela Perillo-Green, Executive Director of the Wellington Chamber of Commerce

 

Tell us about Flavors 2009.  What’s new for this year?

 

On Friday, May 8th, at the elite International Polo Club Palm Beach, twenty plus of Wellington’s finest dining establishments will offer up their most tasty samplings. This fifth year tasting event is honored as the Wellington Chamber of Commerce’s “Signature Event” and will take place from 6:30-9:30 PM. 

 

Celebrity judges to date are Roxanne Stein, WPTV Newschannel 5, Mayor of Wellington Darrell Bowen and Carmine Priore III. FPL West County Energy Center’s John Wash, International Polo Club Palm Beach’s Julie Pickens, International Polo Club Palm Beach’s Chef Gonzalez and International Polo Club Palm Beach. This is a JURIED COMPETITION!

 

Who are some of the participating restaurants/ caterers?

 

To date, the list includes: White Horse Tavern, Binks Forest Golf Club, International Polo Club Palm Beach, Aarons Catering, Costco, Christy’s NY Style Cheesecake and Bakery, Starbucks, Pizza Fusion, The Gypsy’s Horse, Strathmore Bagel, Mississippi Sweets, Earl of Sandwich. And there are many, many more to come!

 

As one of the people who coordinate the event, what is YOUR favorite part of the event?

 

Music Masters International 20-Piece Stage Band 4! Over 600 people from all over Palm Beach County attend!

 

“This is our biggest social event of the season and we are proud to boast this will be our sixth year hosting this event.  Each year this event gets bigger and better well attended, with the announcement of Alec Domb and John Mercer as our chairman, this year will no doubt exceed all our expectations.”

 

How much are tickets? What’s the phone number to call for tickets in advance?

 

It’s $ 25.00 Advance Ticket Sales and $ 30.00 at the Door. Also you can reserve a VIP Table for $500. Call the Wellington Chamber at 561- 792-6525 for tickets. It’s a family-friendly event! Children are welcome!!

 

 

May, 2009 – My Gym Benefit for Children’s Coalition

AROUND WELLINGTON STORIES OF THE MONTH

My Gym Benefit for Children’s Coalition

Local children’s fitness center teams with non-profit to deliver toys and necessities to underprivileged youth.

My Gym Children’s Fitness Center of Royal Palm Beach will host a toy and cash donation drive and raffle to benefit the Children’s Coalition, a non-profit dedicated to providing media arts and technology to at-risk youth in West Palm Beach.

TCCI Student Tarre Johnson-Mack with then Presidential candidate Barack Obama. TCCI provides at-risk youth with resources and opportunities that shape positive, lifelong influences.
TCCI Student Tarre Johnson-Mack with then Presidential candidate Barack Obama. TCCI provides at-risk youth with resources and opportunities that shape positive, lifelong influences.

 

Donations are being accepted between now and Friday, May 22nd, when My Gym will host a Family Wellness Fair between 10 am and 2pm at 518 N. State Road 7.

“Hosting this drive for the Children’s Coalition, who are in need of support is the least we could do,” said Tom Copeland, Director of My Gym Royal Palm Beach. “My Gym is more than just a fitness facility for children-it’s a place to empower them by helping to develop the skills, confidence and positive self-image they need to become healthy young adults. The Children’s Coalition shares this compassion as they shape the lives of at-risk teens to become healthy, productive adults.”

We asked Tom Copeland of My Gym a few questions about this terrific fundraiser and about the activities planned for May 22nd.

Who are some of the presenters planned for the Wellness Fair?

Activities will include a bounce house, Fire Trucks For Fun offering fire truck display and teddy bear stuffing activities, car seat safety checks, kids cooking class with Fun Chefs, and a Whole Foods Market tasting activity. Free to the public and anyone interested in signing up for classes with My Gym.

Are there preferred donations…when it comes to toys, clothing or cash? 

 

Lightly-used toys and cash. Prizes and donations from local business will also be raffled away. All donations are appreciated.

 

Is this the first time My Gym has done this benefit?  Will it be an annual event?

 

This is the first annual Spring Health Fair.

 

How did you get the idea to do this Wellness Fair/Benefit?

 

We change the lives of the children we see everyday through our classes, but it’s the children we don’t see that are just as important. Establishing a trusted partnership with the Children’s Coalition is a great way to enhance the lives of unfortunate children, spread some awareness of the importance of health and fitness, and give the community a change to give back with us. My Gym is personally donating nearly 25 brand new Playskool toys and some free classes.

 

How old is the Children’s Coalition? Where are they based out of? 

 

Founder Carlton Cartwright received 501(c) clearance in 1994 while based in West Palm Beach, FL.

How can local people get involved in this event…how can parents of My Gym students get more involved?

Although we’re hosting the Health Fair and Donation Drive, it’s the parents, students, and attendees who will make the difference – the cash and toys we receive will go directly to TCCI. The worldwide recession has left small businesses battered, and non-profit charitable giving has sharply declined. This is a chance to give to those who deserve giving so that, despite all adversity, we can put a smile on our face and theirs.

For more information about My Gym Royal Palm Beach’s Family Wellness Fair, or to register your children for information on where and how to donate toys, clothes, or cash, please contact Tom Copeland at (561) 860-3231.

 

 

May, 2009 – Taste of the West

AROUND WELLINGTON STORIES OF THE MONTH

Taste of the West 2009

 

The Palms West Chamber of Commerce will present its 12th annual Taste of the West and Chocolate Lovers’ Festival on Thursday, June 4th at the South Florida EXPO Center at the South Florida Fairgrounds, 9067 Southern Boulevard, West Palm Beach.  Palms West Chamber Executive Director, Jaene Miranda says, “Due to the success of this very popular west central communities’ event, we found a great venue . . . the Expo Center is the ideal space to grow, and also provides easy accessibility for attendees from all locations in Palm Beach County.”An bird's eye view of Taste of the West 2008

We asked Special Events Coordinator Catherine Engel a few questions about this year’s Taste of the West event.

Tell us about the Taste of the West.  How did it get started? 

The Palms West Chamber’s Taste of the West and Chocolate Lovers’ Festival was previously held at the Royal Palm Beach High School Cafeteria for many years. The event has now grown into the western communities’ premier food tasting event and business expo with over 1500 people taking part in the fun. Because of this growth, the Chamber was thrilled to move the event to the South Florida Fair’s Americraft Expo Center which provides a comfortable and spacious indoor setting for our restaurants and businesses to showcase their products.

 

What’s one of the favorite “forms of chocolate” that people will see (and taste) at this event?

The chocolate desserts are everyone’s favorite; it seems that people gravitate towards Hoffman’s Chocolates. They bring this amazing chocolate fountain, where you can pick your dipping munchies. It is sinful!

 

What’s new this year?  

 

 

A Kids Cooking Corner has been added.  Sponsored by Whole Foods Market, kids will wallow in chocolate as they learn how to make delectable chocolate treats with Dianne Morin of Marroc Cooking for Kids.  Kids will also learn about “The Science of Chocolate” at the Science Museum booth.   Participating children must be pre-registered to participate.   Visit www.palmswest.com to sign up. Or call (561) 790-6200.

 

What’s your own favorite thing about the Taste of the West?

Well, of course, all the delectable food samples from our local restaurants.

 

Tell us about the chef competitions that will be taking place this

year.   

 

 

Using all of their imaginative cake decorating skills, four chefs from the Florida Culinary Institute will share their expertise in the art of chocolate cake decorating at the Americraft Kitchen, Center Court.

For more information about this special event, contact the Palms West Chamber of Commerce at 561-790-6200.

 

May, 2009 – A Little Surliness is Good for the Soul

CANTANKEROUSLY YOURSwendellabern21

by Wendell Abern

 

A Little Surliness is Good for the Soul

 

 

Dear Curious, Dubious and Skeptical Readers,

 

          To my surprise (and delight), I actually receive fan mail!  Not the usual type.  I get e-mails that say things like, “Stick it to them!” and, “How does your wife put up with you?”  Okay, not terribly flattering.   Still, it’s gratifying to know that some people can identify with my cantankerous observations.

          Many readers ask the same two questions:  “Were you always such a crab?”  And, “Do you ever run out of things to kvetch about?” 

          No.  And no.  And they’re linked. 

Years ago, I actually possessed a moderate temperament.

Then the world started to change, and my bouts of anger and frustration grew in frequency and intensity as technology exploded.

First, someone invents long-playing records, and all my 45s become instant antiques.

Then someone invents huge-screen television sets, and my 19-inch Zenith becomes puny.

Then someone invents computers, and my typewriter becomes a joke.

I start to become edgy and skittish, finding refuge and solace only in huge quantities of salami.

Then someone invents CDs, and there go the long-playing records replaced my 45s.

Then someone improves on computers, and I have to replace my PC, which has became slow and obsolete in two years.

By this time, we have moved to Florida, and my usual sunny disposition is well on its way to crankiness, expedited by two-hour waits in doctors reception rooms, and countless older women who look like they are devouring their steering wheels while approximating the act of driving.

Then someone invents plasma TVs and my 35-inch Sony turns into a relic.

This is followed by cellphones that take pictures and broadcast ball games, automobiles that talk and give directions, and I feel like I am being whisked into some kind of weird time-and-space warp where Playstationing and MyFacing and BlueTubing are taking over the world. 

Everyone is Twittering and Tweeting, and it sounds like the making of a global porn movie, while I’m still trying to figure out how to leave an outgoing message on my telephone answering machine without hanging up on myself.

One day, I wake up to the fact that all of this new gadgetry, which is supposedly making life easier for all of us, is turning me into a crotchety old curmudgeon. 

Furthermore, whenever I need help in fixing or understanding any of these new whiz-bang creations, I rely on phone systems with menus and recorded messages that ultimately end up putting me on hold before I can actually reach a live human being.

So no, I was not always so crabby.  It took about 67, 68 years before I reached permanent ballistic mode.  And I think it’s good for the soul to express a little surliness now and then.  As for running out of things to kvetch about, there’s a better chance I’ll win the lottery.

For example:

A few months ago, I reported, in this publication, on my horrendous experiences with Dumbcast.  I wrote a column headlined, “Yes, This Really *@!#&!+! Happened.”  Shortly after the column was published, I received my monthly bill. 

Instead of sending in a payment, I looked up the name of the CEO of Dumbcast (Mr. Brian Roberts), and will share with you a small section of the letter I then wrote to him:

 

Dear Mr. Roberts,

 

Enclosed is my March column, starring Comcast.

 

Your portion of my frustration and aggravation wasted more than two hours of my time.  Most of it on hold.  A direct reflection of your pathetic communications set-up. 

 

And now you send me a bill.  Mr. Roberts, I don’t intend to pay you a cent until I hear from you.  And when you (or one of your chattels) contact me, I expect to be told that I will receive free service for the next three months.

 

          A few days ago, I heard from his lackey just before this column went to press.  He is in charge of “Acceleration” in Dumbcast’s regional office.  He told me he was passing my complaint to the Operations Director.  Whatever the outcome, I promise to pass it along to you in my next column.

Anyway, shortly after that disastrous episode, my wife and I decide that we don’t need two e-mail servers.  I want to get rid of Dumbcast, of

course; my wife wants to dump AOL for the silly reason that we will save more money.

We/she settle on AOL.  We/she also decide I will be the one to handle the cancellation.

I start on the Internet, hoping to avoid phone calls altogether.

First, I go to the AOL site, looking for “Cancel” on their “Help” menu.

I get a pop-up:  “’Cancel’ is not yet available.  Come back soon.”   

 

I decide to phone instead, and spend another five minutes looking for a phone number.  AOL does not publish a number on their website.  I have to look it up on Google.

In preparation for yet another wonderful phone experience, I make myself two three-inch-high ham and cheese sandwiches.  After punching my way through their phone menu and being put on hold, I start to eat. 

          I finish the sandwiches and work my way through half a pack of beef sticks before Edna comes on the line. 

After asking a few questions, she tells me I have now cancelled the main portion of AOL, but to cancel the two premium programs (which I didn’t even know I had), I have to call someone else and give them a special cancellation confirmation number.  Which she then gives to me.

I call and reach Gerald.  After confirming my name and request, he says, “What is your cancellation confirmation number?”

          “7933690843 dash 26.  What’s yours?”

          “Excuse me?”

          “C’mon, I gave you a number, now you give me one.”

          Gerald is too busy to engage in levity with the riff-raff.  Instead, he says, “Sir, you have now cancelled the special feature preventing pop-ups on your AOL site.  Would you like to also cancel the special spyware?”

“Yes,” I say, dreading what he will say next.

          “You’ll have to call another number.”

          Gritting my teeth, I wait until he finishes giving me the number before telling him he has bad breath.  Then I hang up, eat another sandwich and wait until today to call the number Gerald had given me.

          And as I sit here, I think to myself … of course I get upset!  To me, what is really strange is that the rest of the world doesn’t also.

         

Cantankerously Yours,

 

Wendell Abern

Wendell Abern can be reached at . 

May, 2009 – My Next Step

0

TEEN TALKHeidi Thorpe

by Heidi Thorpe

 

My Next Step

 

Now that high school is coming to a much-anticipated end for me, college appears to be my next step. I don’t know where it will lead me or what the steps are post-college; however, I am thoroughly excited to begin a new chapter of my life. Come August 21st, I will be calling UCF my new home. I will be sharing a room with someone whom I have never met, in a place I’m not familiar with, unaware of what I actually want to be. I should be terrified. I’m not. All of the puzzle pieces will fit together in the end and with a new home and new beginning, new friends are inevitable and memories will be made that I can hold onto for the rest of my life.

 

 

I am going to be the little bird flying from its nest for the first time. No more home-cooked meals. I will be responsible for feeding myself. I will be directly responsible for every choice I make. Studying over partying over sleeping. Everything will be up to me. Basically, I’ll be tossed into the deep abyss of the real world, expected to take care of myself. Survival of the fittest. Okay I must admit, I’m just a tad scared. But there will be no turning back. If I make the right choices, while maintaining a fulfilling social calendar, the incentives are endless. I can’t wait. 

 

May 9, 2009 – Wellington Women’s Club’s Mad Hatter’s Tea Party

0

To:  Around Wellington
From:  Wellington Women’s Club
Re:  Spring Fundraiser – Mad Hatter’s Tea Party
Date:  April 7, 2009
Contact:  Allyson Samiljan, [email protected],  561-798-6741
For Immediate Release
______________________________________

The Wellington Women’s Club will hold its annual spring fundraiser, Mad Hatter’s Tea Party, on Saturday, May 9, 2009, 11:00 a.m., at Binks Forest Golf Club in

Wellington Women's Club Mad Hatter Tea Party to be held May 9th
Wellington Women's Club Mad Hatter Tea Party to be held May 9th at Binks Forest Golf Club

 Wellington.  In addition to a lavish lunch, the event will feature a silent auction with many fantastic items including dining gift certificates, a Coach pocketbook, rounds of golf at area clubs, a one-year membership for the Palm Beach Yacht Club, and services at Eau Spa at the Ritz-Carlton, Manalapan.

Guests will be magically entertained by the Amazing Mr. A, Richard Adler, with close-up table magic provided by Mr. Bob Barwald.  And a Mad Hatter’s Tea Party would not be complete without a hat contest!  Prizes will be awarded for the best hat in several categories.

Monies raised from this event support the Club’s two main charities, the Y.W.C.A. of Palm Beach County Harmony House, a shelter for abused women and their children, and college scholarships for area high school seniors.

Tickets for the luncheon cost $40 and can be obtained from Faye Ford, 561-790-7625.

For additional information, please contact Allyson Samiljan, 561-798-6741.