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February, 2011 – Whole Foods February Events

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February, 2011 Events, Whole Foods Market Wellington

Open 8:00am to 10:00pm Mon-Sat. 9:00am-9:00pm on Sundays

2635 State Road 7

Wellington, FL 33414

 

Events are held at 2635 State Road 7, in the Lifestyle Center and are free of charge unless otherwise noted.  Register by phone at 561.904.4000 or at the customer service desk. Refunds, credits, or transfer of classes will not be honored for no-shows or cancellations made fewer than 24 hours before event. All events are subject to change.  Classes with low registration may be cancelled.  Any classes cancelled by Whole Foods Market will be refunded. Space is limited. 

 

Pre-Game Block Party: Beer and Wine Tasting $10 Donation

Tuesday, February 1st 5:30-7:00pm, Free

Join us for free samples of the ultimate football party appetizers and vote for your favorite departments’ dish.  Also, for a $10 donation to Wellington High School’s Project Graduation you will receive a Whole Foods Market tasting mug to enjoy wine and beer samples around the store!  No registration necessary, just come on by!

 

Healthy Sweets for Your Sweetie

Wednesday, February 9th 6:30pm $5/Person

Pre-Registration Required @ Customer Service or Call 561.904.4000, Payment Collected upon Registration
Not that we need an excuse to eat chocolate, but Valentine’s Day is a perfect one… Don’t spend a fortune on a heart shaped box this year playing the guess that filling game.  Join Chef Ursula Rafer aka the Cupcake Chef and learn to make delicious and gorgeous vegan truffles, caramels and divine cookies.  She will also teach creative ways to box your sweets for your favorite sweeties.

 

Gluten Free Cooking

Thursday, February 10th 6:30-8:00pm, Free

Pre-Registration Required @ Customer Service or Call 561.904.4000

Join Chef Joe as he demonstrates how to prepare Gluten Free recipes that taste great and are easy for anyone to prepare!  Bring your appetite and your Gluten Free questions. 

 

Kids Cooking with Dianne Morin

Saturday, February 12th 2:00-3:00pm $10/Person

 Pre-Registration Required @ Customer Service or Call 561.904.4000, Payment Collected upon Registration.  Calling all kids!   Join kids cooking instructor, Dianne Morin as she teaches children ages 6-16 years old to make scrumptious chocolate strawberry valentine muffins.  Space is limited, so please sign up early.

 

Love Songs and Chocolate

Sunday, February 13th 2-5pm

Enjoy love songs by the cast of Hairspray from the Dreyfoos School of the Arts at 2pm, 2:40pm, & 3:30pm and enter to win a basket of premium chocolates and tickets to their opening night of Hairspray!  No Purchase Necessary.  Just stop by the chocolate dipped strawberries demonstration in the bakery to enter. Void Where Prohibited.  For more information or tickets to the show please contact Beverly Blanchette at 561-802-6061 or .

 

Block Party: Teams’ Choice!

Tuesday, February 15th 5:30-7:00pm, Free

Experience a new way to shop for dinner.  Enjoy free samples around the store and your chance to vote for your favorite sample.  Teams will create new recipes each week to give you new cooking ideas and to compete for our recycled Earth trophy, so be sure to pick up a ballot in our produce department to cast your vote!  No registration necessary, just come on by!

 

Deliciously Raw with Renate
Tuesday, February 15th 6:30-8:00pm, $20/Person

Pre-Registration Required @ Customer Service or Call 561.904.4000, Payment Collected upon Registration
Join Raw Foods Chef, Renate, as she prepares totally Raw Desserts and shares her secrets to living a raw foods lifestyle.  Each month, Renate shares how to live a raw lifestyle without sacrificing taste!   Each class will include three delicious recipes all with plant-based ingredients full of nutrients.  This is the perfect class for the amateur, novice or expert!  

 

Health Starts Here Tour and Demonstration

Thursday, February 17th 6:30-8:00pm, Free

Pre-Registration Required @ Customer Service or Call 561.904.4000

Join our Healthy Eating Specialist for an informative, introductory tour of our Health Starts Here program.  You will learn about our Healthy Eating Principles and how to identify the most nutrient rich foods.  The tour will be followed by a cooking demonstration in the Lifestyle Center, which will utilize nutrient dense ingredients for you to taste.

 

Mom’s Morning Escape

Friday, February 18th 9:00-11:00am, Free

Registration Required @ Customer Service or Call 561.904.4000

Moms will receive a free mini-massage, coffee or tea, and muffin from the coffee bar as well as a chance to meet our new Health Starts Here and Green Mission Specialist, where Moms will receive free recipes, samples, and healthful tips!  Please check in with customer service and pick up your Mom’s Morning Escape Voucher, then make your way to the coffee bar for breakfast. Also enjoy a relaxing five minute chair massage by My Massage Corner in the café (first come first served)!

Kids Class – How to Eat a Rainbow

Saturday, February 20th 2-3:30pm, Free

Pre-Registration Required @ Customer Service or Call 561.904.4000

Want to play with your food?  Here’s your chance!  Our Healthy Eating Specialist will be teaching kids how to make a healthy meal out of colorful fruits, veggies and other every day and not so every day foods.  The best part of this activity-eating it!   All children must be accompanied by a parent. 

 

Natural Ways to Combat Fibromyalgia

Monday, February 21st 6:30pm, Free

Pre-Registration Required @ Customer Service or Call 561.904.4000

Join Dr. Tim DeCanio, a board certified chiropractic neurologist and renowned speaker to learn how to avoid the common pitfalls with current treatments and the newest advances in pain-free living.

 

Vita-Mix Demonstrations

Wednesday February 23rd through Sunday February 27th from 11am-7pm Daily

Stop by our Produce Department between 11:00 am and 7:00 pm for live Vita-Mix demonstrations and take advantage of a limited time offer on this amazing machine.  Vita-Mix will only be in our store for five days, so be sure to check it out while you can.  Enjoy simple and healthful recipe ideas and free samples too!

 

 

Gluten Free Shopping Tour

Thursday, February 24th at 6:30pm, Free

Registration Required @ Customer Service or Call 561.904.4000

Join Chef Joe for an informative tour of our Gluten Free products around the store and enjoy samples of Chef Joe’s top picks!  Participants will learn not only where to find these specialty products, but will also have the chance to ask questions about best practices for cooking Gluten Free products.  Please meet at the Health Starts Here Desk next to customer service for the tour.

 

Dinner with a Gourmet Chef

Thursday, February 24th 7:00pm $35/Person

Pre-Registration Required @ Customer Service or Call 561.904.4000, Payment Collected upon Registration

Join us in our Lifestyle Center for our monthly series Dinner with a Gourmet Chef as master chef Chris Paul, of Wild Orchids Fusion, as he creates a multi-course meal using Whole Foods Market’s all natural ingredients and expertly paired wines from our Specialty Department.  Come with friends, or make new ones, for this interactive evening of food, wine and fun.  Space is limited to the first 22 reservations.

 

Eat Right America 28-Day Challenge

The 28-Day Challenge follows the Eat Right America’s program to help you achieve your weight and health goals, whether it is to lose weight, have more energy or look and feel your best. The plan is mapped out for you and the Challenge is FREE.  All we need from you is a commitment.  Space is limited to the first 25 to register.

 

February 1st – 4th 10 am – 6 pm

Visit Mary Ann at the Health Starts Here desk, located near Customer Service to sign up for the Eat Right America 28 – Day Challenge.  You will receive your Challenge packet including:

·         Login info for a FREE Nutrition Prescription from Eat Right America

·        Overview of the Challenge

·        Day 0 materials

·        Coupon for money off the Eat Right America Nutritarian Handbook

·        Schedule of events

February 5th 2-3:30 pm

The 28-Day Challenge Launch!  We will kick off the first week of the challenge at this meeting.  You will receive Week 1 handouts, which include daily action plans, daily meal plans and recipes.  We will take a tour of the produce and bulk departments and sample some Week 1 recipes.  All participants present will be registered to win a gift basket.

 

February 12th 2-3:30 pm

This week’s focus is on reconfiguring the plate.  Participants will receive their Week 2 handouts and sample recipes from the upcoming week’s meal plan.  We will go on a tour of our Prepared Foods department to see all the wonderful Health Starts Here options that are already prepared for you.  All participants present will be registered to win a gift basket.

 

February 19th 2-3:30 pm

Challenging conventional myths is the theme for Week 3.  This week we will tour our Grocery department, sample the wide range of milk alternatives available, and even see how to make your own milks at home.  You will receive your Week 3 handout which includes more recipes.  All participants present will be registered to win a gift basket.

 

February 26th 2-3:30 pm

You are almost there!  You have been embracing the Nutritarian Lifestyle and making it an everyday part of your life.  We will take a value tour to find ways to shop on a budget for foods that fit your new lifestyle.  Week 4 handout and recipes will be given out along with an Action Plan for continued success.  All participants present will be registered to win a gift basket.

 

March 5th 2-3:30 pm

You’ve made it!  We are having a party to Celebrate.  Come share your success stories and enjoy foods from the plan.  Every participant will receive a Certificate of Completion and special reward for completing the Eat Right America 28-Day Challenge.

 

 

About Whole Foods Market®Founded in 1980 in Austin, Texas, Whole Foods Market (, NASDAQ: WFMI), is the leading natural and organic food retailer. As America’s first national certified organic grocer, Whole Foods Market was named “America’s Healthiest Grocery Store” by Health magazine. The company’s motto, “Whole Foods, Whole People, Whole Planet”™ captures its mission to ensure customer satisfaction and health, Team Member excellence and happiness, enhanced shareholder value, community support and environmental improvement. Thanks to the company’s more than 58,000 Team Members, Whole Foods Market has been ranked as one of the “100 Best Companies to Work For” in America by FORTUNE magazine for 13 consecutive years. In fiscal year 2010, the company had sales of more than $9 billion and currently has more than 300 stores in the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom.

February, 2011 – Kids Eat Free

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February, 2011 – Kids Eat Free

 KIDS EAT FREE AROUND WELLINGTONshawnthompson

 Compiled by Shawn Thompson

This is your one-stop source for your favorite restaurants around town where your kids can eat free!  All restaurants listed offer one free child meal (10 and under – some are 12 and under) per adult entrée purchased unless specified (drink offers vary).  Since most places change their kids eat free promotions from time to time, please call ahead to make sure the offer is still good.

 

If you have a favorite restaurant that offers a freebie meal not listed, please feel free to share!

________________________________________________________________________

MONDAY

Smokey Bones    10260 Forest Hill Blvd.  383-8240

From 5-7 p.m. – drink included

Brass Ring Pub   10998 Okeechobee Blvd., RPB  296-4563

After 5 p.m. – drink included

Hurricane Grill & Wings  11071 Southern Blvd, RPB  753-4868

After 5 p.m. – drink included

Perkins  7859 Lake Worth Rd. 964-3933

All day – drink + cookie included

_______________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY 

Applebee’s  10600 W. Forest Hill Blvd. 790-2994

All day – drink included

 

Centanni Italian  10107 Southern Blvd., RPB, 792-7677

Dinner only – drink not included

Roadhouse Grill  3887 Jog Rd., Lake Worth, 967-0532

Dinner only and drink + ice-cream included – 7 p.m. bike drawing

Denny’s  300 Civic Way, RPB  793-0772

From 4-10 p.m.  – no drink included 

Tequila Cancun  2202 Jog Rd., Greenacres  641-5100

After 5 p.m. – no drink included

Bru’s Room  11111 Southern Blvd., RPB  790-2771

From 5-9 p.m. – drink included

 

________________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY

 

Moe’s Southwest Grill  2605 St. Rd. 7 (Bay 410) 792-5712

After 3 p.m. and drink, cookie + chips included

Duffy’s  11935 Southern Blvd., RPB, 792-4045

All day – drink included

Tequila Cancun  2202 Jog Rd., Greenacres  641-5100

After 5 p.m. – no drink included

Sal’s  11995 Southern Blvd. #2, RPB 784-0778

After 4 p.m. – drink included

________________________________________________________________________

THURSDAY

 

See Everyday section

_______________________________________________________________________

FRIDAY

 

See Everyday section

________________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY

 

Steak ’n Shake   133 S. State Rd. 7, RPB, 333-6474

All day – drink included

________________________________________________________________________

SUNDAY

 

Steak ’n Shake  133 S. State Rd. 7, RPB, 333-6474

All day – drink included

________________________________________________________________________

EVERYDAY/ALMOST EVERYDAY

 

Butterfields Southern Café  1145 Royal Palm Beach Blvd., RPB 792-8723

4-8 p.m. every day except Wednesdays – no drink included

 

Golden Corral  10100 Fox Trail Roads, RPB  793-0201

Under 3 only –  drink included

_____________________________________________________________

ALMOST FREE

 

Sandbar & Grill   NW corner of RPB Blvd. and Okeechobee Blvd. 795-8500

.99 every day after 4 p.m. – no drink included

 

McDonald’s  1470 Greenview Shores Blvd, Wellington 790-7071

.99 6-piece chicken nuggets every Wed. & Sun.

 

 

 Shawn Thompson has two children, Aaron age 8 and Audrey age 4.  She enjoys volunteering at her children’s schools, attending their activities and taking evening walks with her family and their dog BB.  Shawn also helps her husband Tony with his business Relylocal.com.  Please e-mail her any free deals you find and would like to have included to chefshawnt@comcast.net.

February, 2011 – Beauty, She Is Above

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Beauty, she is above

 

Beauty

is waking every day

to witness the splendor

that is the sky above

and the earth below.

To see the strength of the trees

gracefully blowing in the breeze

is a sonnet sung so softly

only a mother

in her wondrous nature

could plant

such a glorious seed

and I am but humbled

at her feet

 

~ Bryan Hayes

January 11 / 11

 

February, 2011 – Top Green Bathroom Tips for 2011

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February, 2011 – Top Green Bathroom Tips for 2011

Living Greenjathygarcia2

Top Green Bathroom Tips for 2011

By Jathy Garcia

As we commence a new year, there’s never been a better time to start implementing simple measures to ensure we are being safe and environmentally friendly. Here are my top 10.

  1. Don’t Let So Much Water Down the Drain
    There are a trifecta of water-saving opportunities in the bathroom. By installing a low-flow showerhead, a low-flow faucet aerator, and a dual-flush toilet, you’ll save thousands of gallons of water each year. To really go for the gusto, and go for a water-free toilet, check in to composting toilets. Contact your local Hi-Tech Plumbing representative for more information.
  2. Flush the Toilet with Care
    When it comes to using the toilets themselves, be sure you’re reaching for toilet paper created from recycled sources—remember,     rolling over is better than rolling under—and avoid using products made from virgin boreal forest trees. The Natural Resources Defense Council has a solid list of recycled paper sources, so you aren’t literally flushing virgin trees down the toilet. And when it comes time to flush, close the lid before hitting the button to prevent the spread of bacteria around your bathroom. Ready for the next step? Install a dual-flush toilet or dual-flush retrofit on your current toilet. Call us for more information or to schedule for an appointment with one of our knowledgeable service technicians.
  3. Ditch Those Disposables
    Toilet paper is about the only “disposable” product allowed in your green bathroom, so when it comes time to clean up, avoid the temptation to reach for disposable products. That means paper towels and other disposable wipes should be replaced by reusable rags or microfiber towels for mirrors, sinks, and the like; when it comes time to scrub the toilet, don’t even think about those silly disposable one-and-done toilet brushes. In the same vein, more and more cleaners are being sold in refillable containers, so you don’t have to buy so much packaging and can reuse the perfectly-good spray bottle, instead of buying a new one each time you run dry on glass cleaner.
  4. Think About What Goes in Your Sink
    Once you have your low-flow faucet aerator installed, your behavior can also help keep water flow down. Be sure to turn off the water while you’re brushing your teeth—some dentists even recommend a dry toothbrush—and you’ll save six gallons of water each day (assuming you’re diligent about brushing twice a day). Boys: if you shave with a wet razor, put a stopper in the sink and don’t leave the water running. Half a sink-full of water will do the job.hi-tech-office-van-picture
  5. Clear the Air with Green Cleaners
    Bathrooms are notoriously small and often poorly ventilated, so, of all the rooms in the house, this is the one that should be cleaned with green, non-toxic cleaners. Common household ingredients, like baking soda and vinegar, and a little elbow grease will do the job for most everything in the bathroom (more on that in a sec). If DIY isn’t your style, there are a bevy of green cleaners available on the     market today; check out your local supermarket.
  6. Take Green Cleaning into Your Own Hands
    Doing it yourself is a great way to insure that you’re going as green as possible, since you know exactly what went in to the products you’re using. A few reliable favorites: Spray surfaces that need cleaning—sinks, tubs, and toilets, for example—with diluted vinegar or lemon juice, let it sit for 30 minutes or so, give it a scrub, and your mineral stains will all but disappear. Getting lime scale or mold on your showerhead? Soak it in white vinegar (hotter is better) for an hour before rinsing it clean. And to create a great tub scrub, mix baking soda, castile soap (like Dr. Bronner’s) and a few drops of your favorite essential oil—careful, a little bit goes a long way here. Follow this     recipe for a non-toxic bathtub cleaner and you’ll never have to buy caustic bathtub cleaners again.
  7. Keep Your Skin Free and Clear with Green Personal Care Products
    Anything that’s a struggle to say three times fast doesn’t belong in your bathroom, and that certainly goes for personal care products like soaps, lotions, and cosmetics. For example “anti-bacterial” soaps often include endocrine disruptors, which, in addition to breeding “supergerms” resistant to these cleaners, may be doing your body serious harm and are wreaking havoc on fish and other organisms after they escape into the water stream after you flush. That’s just one example; remember the rule goes like this: If you can’t say it, don’t use it to “clean” yourself.
  8. Go Green with Towels and Linens
    When it comes time to dry off, towels made from materials like organic cotton and bamboo are the way to go. Conventional cotton is one of the most chemically-intensive, pesticide-laden crops on the planet—to the tune of 2 billion pounds of synthetic fertilizers and 84 million pounds of pesticides each year—causing a whole laundry list of environmental health problems for those who apply the pesticides and harvest the crop—not to mention the damage done to soil, irrigation, and groundwater systems. Bamboo, in addition to being a fast-growing sustainable alternative to cotton, is also reputed to have antibacterial qualities when spun into linens.
  9. Shower Yourself with a Safe Curtain
    If your shower has a curtain, be sure to avoid polyvinyl chloride (PVC) plastic—it’s pretty nasty stuff. The production of PVC often results in creating dioxins, a group of highly toxic compounds, and, once in your home, PVC releases chemical gases and odors. Once you’re done with it, it can’t be recycled and is known to leach chemicals that can eventually make their way back into our water system. So, be on the lookout for PVC-free plastic—even places like IKEA carry them now—or go for a more permanent solution, like     hemp, which is naturally resistant to mold, as long as you keep your bathroom well-ventilated.
  10. Maintain Your New Green Ways
    Once you go green, you’ll want to keep it that way, so remember to do regular light maintenance—unclogging drains, fixing leaky faucets, etc.—with green in mind. Check out more advice on Going green at      http://hi-techplumbing.com/Going-Green.htm         

Hi-Tech plumbing is a local plumbing contractor in the Wellington/ Royal Palm Beach area who specializes in all facets of plumbing service utilizing the latest & up-to date technology. For more information visit our website at www.hi-techplumbing.com or call our office at 561-790-6966. And remember Don’t fret… just call Hi-Tech!

 

 

February, 2011 – AW in Pictures

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February, 2011 – AW in Pictures
•As a part of its community outreach program to involve residents with the polo community, the International Polo Club hosts “Wellington Day” each year at the beginning of polo season. Part of the outreach involves inviting area schools to perform and offering Wellington residents half price tickets. Photo by Lois Spatz.
As a part of its community outreach program to involve residents with the polo community, the International Polo Club hosts “Wellington Day” each year at the beginning of polo season. Part of the outreach involves inviting area schools to perform and offering Wellington residents half price tickets. Photo by Lois Spatz.

 

Wellington Mayor Darrell Bowen at Wellington Day. Photo by Lois Spatz.
Wellington Mayor Darrell Bowen at Wellington Day. Photo by Lois Spatz.

 

•The Bella Luna Cirque Show at the South Florida Fair. Photo by Elien Boes.
The Bella Luna Cirque Show at the South Florida Fair. Photo by Elien Boes.
Fun at the South Florida Fair. Photo by Elien Boes.
Fun at the South Florida Fair. Photo by Elien Boes.

February, 2011 – Humor, It Shouldn’t Get Lost

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February, 2011 – Humor, It Shouldn’t Get Lost

Cantankerously YoursWendell Abern 

Humor, It Shouldn’t Get Lost

 

By Wendell Abern

Editor’s note:  Second in a series devoted to recapturing humor that might perish forever without some gentle reminding.

 

Dear Comedophiles,

          Please examine the above headline. Its unusual construction typifies Hebonics, or Jewish English, and illustrates the patois used in much of Jewish humor – a unique genre that I fear may soon disappear altogether,

          According to Howard Schollman, linguistics professor at New York University and renowned Hebonics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebonics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish.

          In Hebonics, according to Schollman, the response to any question is usually another question – plus a complaint.  Thus, “How are you?” may be answered, “How should I be, with my feet?”

          Another Hebonics pattern, used in the headline to this column, moves the verb to the end of the sentence.  The example Schollman gives:  “He’s slow as a turtle,” in Hebonics could be, “Turtle, shmurtle!  Like a fly in Vaseline he walks.”

          In his very funny mini-dictionary of Yiddish words, “Yiddish for Yankees,” (with the engaging subtitle of, “Funny, You Don’t Look Gentile),” Martin Marcus uses the Hebonic form liberally in providing definitions:

 

“Klutz.  A clumsy oaf.  A guest who sits on your antique

coffee table and breaks the legs, she should break her

own legs once.”

 

          Hebonics is funny even though it was never intended to be.  It’s simply the natural way Jewish immigrants distorted English and adapted it to their own linguistic forms. 

          Schollman captured this unintended humor in his textbook on the subject, entitled, “Switched-on Hebonics.”  A few examples:

          Question:  What time is it?

          English answer:  Sorry, I don’t know.

          Hebonic answer:  What am I, a clock?

 

          Answer to a phone call from son:

          English remark:  It’s been a long time since you called.

          Hebonic remark:  You didn’t wonder if I’m dead yet?

           

Jewish comedians in the early part of the Twentieth Century recognized the fractured English they heard at family gatherings as funny, and turned home conversations into comedy routines.  Complete with heavy accents. 

If you wanted to sound as humorous as Uncle Herman or Aunt Bertha, you used their accents:  “Vot, ve’re so vealthy ve’ll wacation by the Riwiera?  Ve’ll go by the beach right here, the sun should only shine.”

          Hebonics peppered the works of George Jessel, Milton Berle, Myron Cohen, George Burns, Jack Benny and other Jewish comedians throughout vaudeville’s heyday.     

But the long story-telling jokes that were the heart of comedy routines through the Twenties began to vanish in the early Thirties, and are practically non-existent today.  For example:

A young Jewish man tells his mom he has fallen in love and is going to get married.  “Just for fun,” he says, “I’m going to bring over three

women and you try to guess which one I’m going to marry.”  The next

day, he brings three women to the house, has them chat for a while,  then lets his mother guess which one he’ll marry.  Immediately, she replies, “The one on the right.”  The son says, “Ma, that’s amazing!  How did you know?”  The mother says, “I don’t like her.”

 

Today’s Jewish comedians, whose venues are limited to comedy clubs and cable shows like “Comedy Central,” would tell that joke in 60 seconds.

          But George Jessel or Myron Cohen would take seven minutes to tell the same joke, and their narration would somehow include asides on tight skirts, someone’s bald uncle with peptic ulcers and a bad case of Poison Ivy in someone’s nether regions.

Also, in vaudevillian routines, the comedian improvised, describing his main characters differently each time he told the same gag.  Example:

          First time:  “Beautiful she vas, and zaftig too, vich means woluptuous, vid a bosom out to Pallum Beach.”

          Second time:  “Vas a beauty, okay, could stand to lose a few pounds, vouldn’t kill her.”

What a crime this engaging art form has virtually disappeared!  Two big factors contributed to its demise:  assimilation and broadcast technology. 

Today’s Jewish population is part of the fabric of this country.  We are all third and fourth generation Americans now.  The huge influx of Jewish immigrants in the last part of the 19th, and early part of the 20th Centuries has slowed to a trickle.  

         How long since you heard anyone speak with an accent?  How long since you even heard a joke told with a Jewish accent?  Assimilation, unfortunately, squelched the very humor it created.

And broadcast technology dressed it up differently.

While radio, and later television, spread this ethnic form of humor from Jewish homes to the rest of the world, it also changed the form. 

Once vaudeville’s comedians moved into broadcast, long story-telling jokes morphed into one-liners in order to jack up ratings. 

The entire broadcast world is controlled by research companies who monitor our viewing (and previously listening) habits.  In order to achieve good ratings, a sitcom must create a laugh every other line.

The sad irony of today’s comedic landscape is that the very technology that helped spread ethnic humor from Jewish homes to the rest of the world, is now absorbing it from the rest of the world and putting it back into Jewish homes.

Jewish humor today exists primarily on the Internet.

New Jewish jokes today circulate on computers, e-mailed from one Jewish family member to another, from one Jewish friend to another.  I wonder how many of my non-Jewish friends received the e-mail headed,

“If Their Mothers Were Jewish.”  Funny piece, capturing both the doting and demanding natures of Jewish mothers.  To wit:      

          Christopher Columbus’ mother:  “I don’t care what you discovered, you never call, you never write …”

          Mona Lisa’s mother:  “After all the money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you could give?”

          Michelangelo’s mother:  “Can’t you just paint on walls like other children?  Do you know how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”

 

*        *        *

          As I stated earlier, Jewish humor may disappear altogether.  Though

I shudder at the prospect, I am also guardedly optimistic.  I pin my hopes on the technology that brought this unique form out of Jewish homes, then put it back there again.  Also, I have faith it will be kept alive by others as concerned as I am. 

 

After all, this type of humor, it shouldn’t get lost.

         

Cantankerously Yours,

 

Wendell Abern

 

Wendell Abern can be reached at dendyabern@comcast.net.

 

 

February, 2011 – Frugally In Love – Valentine’s Day Gifts That Wont Break The Bank

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February, 2011 – Frugally In Love – Valentine’s Day Gifts That Wont Break The Bank

By the Numbers

Frugally In love – Valentine’s Day Gifts That Won’t Break the Banktomcopeland1

By Tom Copeland

Are you ready to spend less on gifts this Valentine’s Day? You’re not alone; according to IBISWorld, a leading publisher of industry research, consumers are expected to spend nearly 5% less than they did last year. But just because other lovers will fork over about $28.6 billion dollars in the days and weeks leading up to February 14th doesn’t mean you have to.

And just because you want to spend less money this time around Cupid’s block doesn’t mean you have to compromise on the quality and thoughtfulness of your gifts. In fact, think of yourself as “frugally in love”, dismissing the tradition of pricy, unaffordable luxury goods in favor of gifts that are creative, fun, and most importantly, relay the message of the holiday: love. Here are some great gift ideas if you need to stick to a strict budget this year.

1. Get a spa gift card from Spafinder.com. Spafinder is a bustling marketplace that brings together thousands of participating local spas, buyers, and discounts and deals that tie it all together. You can ship, print, or email the gift cards at just about any price level, and in many cases, you can find gift cards to spas that regularly run $40, $50, or $65 specials.

2. Dine out for lunch instead of dinner. Take your darling to their favorite lunch spot or hit their favorite restaurant during an early bird special. Or, take the time and effort to cook a spectacular dinner at home. Even after hiring a babysitter for a few hours, you’ll probably still save money by eliminating steep dinner, wine, desert, and tip tab of a tradition Valentine’s dinner at a local restaurant.

3. Make a love basket. The idea here is to skip the dozen roses, candy boxes, and card trifecta (which together can pretty easily exceed a $50 alone), and instead put some thought and time into one dazzling gift basket filled and decorated with flowers, individually wrapped candy bars or packages, a handwritten love note, and a $10 gift card to a favorite coffee, tea, or donut shop, for example.

4. Latex Happy Valentine’s Day balloons can be picked up at any grocery store for a few dollars and are a sweet surprise or addition to your other gifts. There’s a bonus, too: balloons double as an effective child distraction device.

5. Affordable, quality wine can be found online and elsewhere. Renowned wine expert Gary Vaynerchuk hand picks the featured wines on the site Tastingroom.com, and for just $20 you can order a set of (6) 50ml taster bottles of wines in all varieties. Looking for some affordable bubbly? Kiplinger recommends 2006 Mont Marcal Cava Brut Reserva from Spain, priced at about $15, found in your local supermarket.

6. Cook a healthy and bountiful breakfast in bed.

7. Make a donation in your partner’s name to their favorite charity or cause. Everyone is passionate about something, so figure out what that passion is and make your donation of money, time or effort. If you’re not sure if that passion exists or not, just ask. At a Secret Santa party last year, I offered to make a $25 donation to a charity in the giftee’s name, and to my surprise, my gift was stolen twice before it settled on a happy winner who requested the donation be made to a local animal shelter.

8. Find something fun and interesting to do in our town. A great resource is PBpulse.com, a local nightlife and events guide published by the Palm Beach Post. Find something interesting that’s going on and offer to take your partner. Current and local concerts, musicals, plays, and much more can all be found there. Also check out “Press Releases” and the “Calendar” page on AroundWellington.com.

9. Spend the day together! While this may not be a plausible option for many people, spending the entire day with your loved one, doing whatever it is they want to do, is the most generous and thoughtful gift you can give this Valentine’s Day.

So don’t be bogged down by stellar prices on jewelry, handbags, suits, clothes, watches, or other traditional Valentine’s Day gifts you can’t afford this year. The message of Valentine’s Day is to show someone special that you love and care for them. You can show your affection and appreciation without spending a lot of money, so start getting creative and fall frugally in love!

Tom Copeland is the founder of Bullworthy.com, a Web development and content management firm in West Palm Beach. Find him at http://www.bullworthy.com.

February, 2011 – Brothers to the Rescue

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February, 2011 – Brothers to the Rescue

Cultural Corner

 

Brothers to the Rescue

 

By Marla E. Schwartz

 

 

A genuine act of civil disobedience is practiced by so few people these days. It allows people to demonstrate nonviolent resistance against what they deem to be unfair laws by refusing to obey such laws, demands, and commands of a government. A modern day tale of such a story involving Floridians, including a gentleman from Wellington, is conveyed in the book Seagull One: The Amazing True Story of Brothers to the Rescue {University Press of Florida, $24.95} written by Lily Prezello in collaboration with José Basulto. They presented their book at the 2010 Miami Book Fair International this past November.

 

Jose Basulto and Lily Prellezo
Jose Basulto and Lily Prezello. Photo by Marla E. Schwartz

Brothers to the Rescue, Inc. (BTTR), also known as

Hermanos al Rescate, began in 1991 in response to the surge of Cuban rafters who were dying as they tried to escape from the island in search of freedom in America. Basulto, founder of BTTR, was born in Santiago de Cuba, is a Cuban exile and a Bay of Pigs veteran. This courageous man, along with his friend, William “Billy” Schuss, were compelled to begin this humanitarian mission when Billy saw a report on the news telling the story of how a child, the same age as his son, died in the arms of a Coast Guard agent, after trying to flee Cuba on a makeshift raft.

 

Prezello does a magnificent job of chronicling the journey of these two men and everyone involved with BTTR, including volunteer pilots from 17 different nationalities; who conducted 1,840 search and rescue missions saving 4,200 lives. This book is Prezello’s first of hopefully many ventures into the book publishing business. Born in Havana, Cuba and exiled with her family to Miami in 1960, she has an outstanding reputation as a freelance writer for various magazines and newspapers in Miami and as an editor for Miami-based executives.

 

Lily Prezello. Photo by Oscar Suarez
Lily Prezello. Photo by Oscar Suarez

She

was the editor of Beyond The Grotto, her alumnae newsletter from her high school Our Lady of Lourdes Academy, is an English major from Florida International University, has participated in the Eckerd College Writers Conference in Paradise for the past four years, is part of the speakers bureau for the Archdiocese of Miami, has contributed to The Catholic Voice from 1987-1997 and has attended the Writer’s Institute at Miami Dade College. She and her husband Steve, along with their two daughters and grandsons live in Miami.

 

Many of us remember hearing stories of the rescues conducted by BTTR back in the ’90s, and we took it for granted that it was something that would go on indefinitely, or as long as it took to save as many people as possible. But it all came to an end on February 24, 1996 when fellow pilots were betrayed as two unarmed BTTR planes were shot down in international waters, murdering pilots Armando Alejandre Jr., Carlos Costa, Mario de la Pea and Pablo Morales over the Florida Straits. Basulto was flying on the day he saw his comrades shot down and made it safely back to Florida within three minutes of also being shot down. There is an understandable air of sadness when this soft-spoken man speaks of this incident. He sought criminal and civil charges over the matter and was awarded a $1.7 million judgment in January 2005 and a few months later used this money to offer a reward on information leading to the indictment of Raúl Castro on charges relating to the shooting down of these planes. His aim from the beginning was to assist and rescue raft refugees emigrating from Cuba and to support the efforts of the Cuban people to free themselves from dictatorship through the use of active nonviolence.

 

The book reads as a real life murder-mystery, espionage tale as BTTR2seagull-one-book-cover-by-jose-basulto-and-lily-prezello was infiltrated by two spies, one who was a double agent working for the FBI, that led to the events of that fateful day when four innocent men, three American citizens, were brutally murdered over international waters. The book tells the tales of love stories that were forged because of this group and it explains how our government was complicit in changing the Cuban Adjustment Policy to the “Wet Feet/Dry Feet” policy, which in essence doomed people to their fate.

 

The book also vividly describes the gallantry of all the BTTR pilots including Wellington Resident Carlos V. Tabernilla who had forty-years of experience as a pilot, worked in the agriculture industry in the Glades for over thirty years and lived in the Wellington Aero Club. His plane was called El Viejo Pancho, named after the plane his grandfather flew as a Five-Star General and head of the Armed Forces of Cuba under President Fulgencio Batista. His father, Carlos M. Tabernilla, was also a military man serving as Chief of the Air Force with the rank of Colonel and later as Brigadier General. It was on January 1, 1959 that his family escaped Cuba. Tabernilla was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his heart, but despite his deteriorating health condition, he continued to fly his missions. Unfortunately he passed away at age sixty on October 1, 2010, the day of the book launch party.

 

Basulto and Prezello were able to find time during their busy book tour to answer a few questions about their book for us.

 

How did the two of you meet?

 

Lily Prezello (LP): We have mutual friends, René and Marta Guerra. I had helped René in some writing projects and he liked my work and told me ‘you need to write the story about BTTR’. I had never thought of writing a book, so Rene invited me to meet José. We started going through the BTTR documents at a warehouse and we spent six months going through the paperwork. José then started introducing me to all the people who worked with the organization. I interviewed over a hundred people.

 

Can you explain the title choice?

 

José Basulto (JB): I am Seagull One. A seagull is a very beautiful creature. It’s usually near the coast and it’s a signal to mariner’s that they’re reaching their destination. It’s a peaceful animal and it always flies looking down, searching for something and that’s what we did. We used to fly looking down, slow, like a seagull does, on a mission of peace. I felt it was appropriate to call ourselves seagulls. Seagull Charlie, Seagull Bravo, like the letters of the alphabet according to who was the pilot and I was Seagull One (his radio call sign).

 

Was it frustrating at first that you had such a difficult time actually seeing the rafters?

 

JB: We had a pretty good idea that it was going to be difficult to see them because in 1990 we started doing the experiments necessary for the operation and we knew we had visibility issues to resolve before we announced that we were going to go out and look for rafters.

 

When rafters you’ve saved come up to you, what specifically do they say?

 

JB: I’ll tell you, I was turning a corner on 8th Street, close to LeJeune, and there was this guy in a new convertible car and this fellow was by himself with several beautiful girls and he looks at me and says, ‘Basulto, thank you’!

 

Can you discuss what happened the day the planes were shot down?

 

JB: I was flying the plane that did not get shot down. I saw the smoke in the distance where the planes had fallen. It was a hit an assassination. And I am here, alive for some reason and I believe that it is to denounce both sides for what they did that day and to tell the story. If there is no truth there will not be justice because you cannot have justice without truth. Someday, somewhere, somehow someone in the U.S. government will point the finger to the ones who made it possible for the Castro government to assassinate those kids that day.

 

Basulto explained that he’s now retired and Lily is working on her next book, an historical-fiction novel, based on the life of a 101-year-old Cuban-American woman.

 

***

 

Marla E. SchwartzA native of Toledo, OH and a graduate of Kent State University, Marla E. Schwartz is a Senior Writer for Miami Living Magazine and is currently a freelance writer for AroundWellington.com and Lighthouse Point Magazine. Her photographs have appeared in numerous Ohio publications, as well as in Miami Living, The Miami Herald, The Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel and The Palm Beach Post. She has had numerous plays published and produced around the country. Her short play, America’s Working? was produced in Los Angeles at both the First Stage and the Lone Star Ensemble theater companies, in Florida at Lynn University and then at an off-Broadway playhouse in NYC. Her piece, The Lunch Time Café, was a finalist for the Heideman Award, Actors Theatre of Louisville. Please check out the re-prints of her interviews with authors Dave Barry & Ridley Pearson and Dexter novelist Jeff Lindsay in the October 2010 issue of Duff Brenna’s ServingHouse: A Journal of Literary Arts at www.servinghousejournal.com. Please feel free to contact her at marlaschwartz@att.net.

 

February, 2011 – Hey! Who Ate All My Candy???

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February, 2011 – Hey! Who Ate All My Candy???

Creature Feature Stephanie Karpf

 

Hey!  Who Ate All My Candy???

 

By Stephanie Karpf, DVM

 

 

    Aaaahhhh, Valentine’s Day.   What do we think of when we ponder this wonderful holiday about love?  That’s right…CHOCOLATE!!!  Lots and lots of chocolate!

  Invariably, at this time of year, I am bound to get a number of calls from distressed dog owners whose furry friends have gotten their little (or very big) snouts into a heart-shaped box full of chocolate treats.  It is certainly true that chocolate is toxic to dogs.  However, there are many different varieties of chocolate, and some are much more toxic than others.

 

  The most common type of chocolate treat is milk chocolate, of course.  Luckily, milk chocolate is also the variety that is the least toxic.  The level of toxicity of any variety of chocolate, has to do with how much of a chemical, called methylxanthine, is present.  In milk chocolate, the amount of this chemical is much smaller (64 mg/oz.), than the amount in semisweet chocolate, which would have more than twice this amount per oz.  Baker’s chocolate, contains about six times the amount of this chemical per ounce. 

 

  A 22 lb. dog would need to eat between 10 and 20 oz. of milk chocolate to be poisoned from it.  This is quite a feat for such a small dog.  About half this quantity in dark chocolate, would be a problem.  It is also important to remember, that many of the chocolates that we find in these gift boxes, are filled with a different substance like cream or nougat.  So, the weight of the treat isn’t necessarily all made up of the actual chocolate. In most cases, dogs do not eat enough chocolate to cause themselves a truly dangerous problem.

 

  That being said, a dog that ingests any chocolate, will likely end up with gastrointestinal upset.  This could include symptoms like diarrhea, vomiting, and inappetence.  If this should happen, your vet will treat this like any other case of tummy troubles with a bland diet, and sometimes with medications to help clear up nausea or diarrhea.

 

But, if your dog should be the one to gluttonously devour your romantic box of chocolate delicacies in quantities large enough to cause toxicity, then you could find yourself with a true medical emergency.  The first signs of chocolate toxicity include vomiting and diarrhea, and this usually begins within the first 2 to 4 hours after ingestion.  Other signs are fever, restlessness, hyperactivity, and increased urination.  Advanced signs include muscle stiffness, excitement and seizures.  Eventually, untreated chocolate toxicosis can lead to cardiac failure, weakness, coma and death.

 

If your dog decides to sample your sweets, then it is always best to err on the side of caution.  Be sure to call your veterinarian immediately after discovering that your dog has eaten some chocolate, to find out if the amount ingested is something that should be cause for concern.  It is important that you know how much your dog weighs, what type of chocolate was ingested, and approximately how much this chocolate weighed.  When caught early enough, induction of vomiting to remove chocolate from the stomach, followed by administration of activated charcoal into the gastrointestinal system to remove as much chocolate as possible, can be life saving.  Delaying treatment even by a few hours can have severe consequences.

 

So, enjoy Valentine’s day.  But keep that gigantic box of sweets from your sweetie, out of Fido’s reach!

 

Stephanie Karpf, DVM, is co-owner of The Visiting Vet, a house call veterinary service for dogs and cats serving Palm Beach County.  For an appointment, call (561) 252-8874.

February, 2011 – The New Rules Of Flying

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February, 2011 – The New Rules Of Flying

As I Was Saying

 

The New Rules of Flying Alan Williamson

 

By Alan Williamson

 

            “How was your flight?” is a loaded question these days. Compared to crash landing on a remote island and being harassed by hostile inhabitants, a deadly cloud of black smoke and a man with cultish delusions of Godliness named Jacob, I’d rate most of my flights as passable. But if people in high places in the airline industry are interested, I do have a few suggested changes to make the flying experience less (what’s the word?) turbulent.

 

New Rule # 1: Cancel “The Price is (Not) Right.”  It used to be that if you booked far enough in advance you got a lower rate and if you booked closer to your flight date the rate was higher. Simple. Fair. Logical.

In today’s “The Price is (Not) Right” game, no matter when you book, getting the best price on a flight takes diligent research, impeccable timing and an acceptance of the fact that whatever price you lock in at can be undercut within the next 48 hours by a price 25 to 40 percent lower. Oh, what’s that you say? You want that new, low, low price? No problem. That will cost you a flight cancellation fee of $125 and – oops – the flight you wanted to re-book at the lower rate just went up again by another $100. (Shouldn’t have taken that bathroom break.) So champ, do you want to book it and lock it in or click on the “check flights” button and see what the next price comes in at? Now I don’t know about you, but if I ran the airline show that’s one game of chance I’d pull the plug on faster than you could say Pat Sajak.

 

New Rule # 2: Involve Passengers in Anti-Terrorism Efforts. Currently, before a commercial airliner takes off, flight attendants instruct all passengers in the use of emergency equipment and check to see that seatbelts are fastened and seats are in the upright positions. Let’s also have them make the following announcement:

 

“Before we take off, we ask that all passengers please check fellow passengers in your immediate area for any screwballs, weirdos, wackos, misfits, haunted drifters or fidgety religious fanatics.”

 

Hey, I’m an observant guy and I’m happy to do my part. Besides, I could use a break from thumbing through the Sky Mall catalog fantasizing about buying the Sound-Activated Video Camera Pen, the King Tutankhamen Egyptian Throne Chair, and the Upside Down Tomato Garden.

 

New Rule # 3: Tighten Passenger Boarding Requirements. Under normal circumstances I’m a live and let live kind of guy. But let’s face it, there’s nothing normal about hurdling through the sky crammed into a metal cylinder with 300 strangers, many of whom are rumored screwballs, weirdos, wackos, misfits, haunted drifters and fidgety religious fanatics. Airport security already screens all passengers for weapons and suspicious paraphernalia. Why not screen for obnoxious personality traits and hazardous health conditions?

 

Case in point # 1: There was a guy sitting behind me on a summer flight from Fort Lauderdale to Detroit who sneezed and coughed the entire two and a half hours. When he wasn’t sneezing and coughing he was snoring in a way that every time he inhaled you could hear his musical mucus rattling in his sinuses. With a rigorous health screening, this bobble head would be turned away at the gate and told to go Google “immune system” to see if he could pick one up for a future flight.

Case in point # 2: There was a women sitting near me on a recent flight who read her magazine from cover to cover. Sounds pretty harmless, right? The perfect seatmate. I left out one little detail: she read it out loud. Here’s an excerpt:

 

“Surrounded almost entirely by shallow, neon-bright aqua lagoons, Bora Bora is all about snorkeling.”

 

          Okay, now multiply that by two hours and 30,000 more words. Granted, it would be difficult to root out non-stop talkers at a security screening, but anyone who begins to tell their life story to the person behind them in line while their carry-on bag is being x-rayed should be pulled aside and put in a sound-proof room to be monitored via closed-circuit TV and detained until their lips stop moving.

          Look, I realize that some of these “new rules” might come across as harsh and self-serving. Honestly, that’s not where I’m coming from. I offer these suggestions purely in the interests of helping the troubled airline industry rise above their spiraling cost, safety and customer satisfaction problems.

          And just to be clear, I’m not looking for any special recognition or major financial reward for my insightful feedback. Round-trip, first-class tickets for my wife and I to anywhere in the United States would be more than adequate as a token gesture of thanks. That, and if it’s not too much trouble, the King Tutankhamen Egyptian Throne Chair from the new Sky Mall catalog (page 88, right next to the underwater pogo stick).

 

Alan Williamson is an award-winning writer with 27 years in the field of true fiction (advertising). A practical man who knows that writing for a living is risky going, he has taken steps to pursue a second, more stable career as a leggy super model. Alan can be reached at alwilly@bellsouth.net.  © 2011 Alan Williamson.

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