W-O-R-L Television News


W-O-R-L Television News

By John F. Rifenberg

Good Morning, Orlando! The newest, bests, seaport city in the south: Where the Gulf of Mexico meets the Atlantic Ocean.

A little later we will have an in-depth weather report. Here’s a spoiler alert, no hurricanes and no tornadoes in the forecast. Yeah!

And now, the news of this morning. Direct from the new capital of the United States, Indianapolis, Indiana.

The Washington D.C. area continues to be inundated with flooding and new reports saying there’s been massive looting, starting with the homes of the House of Representatives and Senators, they seem to be the first engulfed in the fury for reasons only known outside of Washington.

The former President’s Cabinets chiefs, for reasons also unknown, their homes were the first to be set on fire. Unfortunately, there is no fire department anymore in the city, and those men who thought they were on higher ground. It’s all underwater now just like the stock market.

And now from the W-O-R-L foreign desk, the Canadian government has started building a wall on the borders of the U.S. today.

The Canadian Prime Minster said today, “It’s to keep out undocumented Americans from entering our country. We are worried about drugs coming across our borders. Many of the prisons have had to set people free due to the weather conditions. We don’t know who these people are. Worst of all and it’s a big insult for us that many Americans are trying to learn how to speak Canadian, using a fake accent, trying to pose as locals. It’s hard to believe they would stoop that low.”

And back at the news desk. It’s reported that the new look military –style, Canadian Police , which look great I must add, will be patrolling the borders with orders to shoot to kill if need be.

The Prime Minister declared, “All we are trying to do is slow down the thousands of people trying to enter our country. And the U.S. must pay for the wall; after all they created the problem. I must tell you that they are foreigners to us and will be treated as such. We are not a suburb of Buffalo. Where can they go, that’s the problem? The U.S. is losing square mile after square mile to the rising water. Going north seems to be the direction to follow.”
Also at the capital today, the followers of disgraced former President Trump demonstrated today, carrying signs and yelling slogans, proclaiming that global warming is fake news. Also they are demanding another voting recount because of the landslide defeat of their President. They contend it was because of the backlash because of the Russian influence in the election.

Former President Trump said he had no comment on the matter from his summer home in Greenland.

Our next news story really hits home for all of us that have a grill or a good piece of sidewalk on a sunny day. It’s hot enough to could cook a steak on the cement. We all have heard that expression. Cattle prices are skyrocketing throughout the nation. With the new settlers from the east coast and the west coast moving into the mid-section of the country, land is getting scarce. Plus add the huge problem with land- poachers pretending to be land owners. It is said, be careful of anyone who doesn’t sound like a real local and doesn’t drive a truck.

Pork farmers are having the same problems as the cattle ranchers, but the pork farmers, don’t know what to do with all of the waste, which is toxic for our land and a dwindling freshwater supply. Which of course, the pork farmers had denied for years, again big business lying to the public. But at this point the damaged is done. For some reason the chicken farmers are doing very well, and they should, I mean who doesn’t like fried chicken.

Meanwhile, seafood prices are at the lowest in years. There’s so much water out there the fish just love it. The fish seem to gravitate to their new venue, where the everglades once were. They are taking full advantage of this new breeding ground. These fish are like Roman Catholics. So there’s plenty of fishing to be had.

On the lighter side, there’s a great seafood festival at the new Harbor Inn. This marina is on the gulf side of Orlando. There’s plenty of great food and ice cold drinks to be had for all and don’t forget that if you are in the sun wear a hat. Also, they are new slips for your boats and plenty of fresh fish for all. Just remember don’t eat the fish with three heads.
Finally the weather, it’s going to be hot. The high temperure should be at 119 degrees but in the early morning, the low will be 92. Don’t forget that if you are in the sun, wear a hat, your sun screen and drink plenty of water. Speaking of water the water out of your tap may smell different and look brown. Call your local officials in your area to report the problem or revert to drinking beer…

Just in from the W.O.R.L bulletin desk, our correspondent for South America, the rain forests are on fire. It’s because of the severe drought conditions. And they have no fire department either. Remember friends, the rain forest produces twenty percent of the world oxygen. Just a thought! I wonder where all the animals go and how do they take care of their families.

One last item here at W.O.R.L. Orlando, we are welcoming a new regular to our show. Dr. Joel Goldsmith. He will be helping our family of viewers and answering medical questions of the day. For example, when to wear an oxygen mask because of the heavy air, and what number sun block to use during the day. Today, by the way calls for an SPF of 194.With this Sun we have today gives new meaning, to the phrase, having a nice tan.

I have as announcement to finish this morning’s broadcast: This is the end of my career here in Orlando. I will miss my friends and all the people I’ve met here and most of all the viewers. The Canadian government has issued my family a green card enabling us to enter their country. I have a new job, being the spokesperson for the Ottawa Dolphins. That’s the new location of the old Miami team. Thank you so much for your support and one last word…Aye!


John Rifenberg is co-chairman of the writing group of Royal Palm Beach. He has just finished his newest book “The Alphabet Out of Order,” which is an assortment of stories and poems, including his award winning short stories.